Writing For Results

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"It is very hard to be simple enough to be good," said Ralph Waldo Emerson. To help refine your written sales presentations, Deborah Dumaine, a Boston-based writing consultant and author of Write to the Top, published last January by Random House (New York), advises:

* Put the crux of what you are proposing at the beginning of the proposal, then give your reasons why it makes sense. Zero in on the client's needs rather than saying "I" can do this for you.

* Include a personal handwritten letter or note with a sales proposal, as well as a memo to guide the reader through the material. Use headlines, bullets, and lists to organize the memo and the proposal. Most people have a short attention span, and they will bog down in the middle of a word-covered page. White space gives the reader a chance to breathe and the strength to start again. Use visual representations, such as charts, tables, and graphs, for clearer explanations and for variety. For a sampling of useful charts, see David Ewings' Writing for Results (New York, John Wiley, 1974).

* Mirror your writing style to the client's. For example, if the client is very formal, make sure your writing is proper and formal. If the client is more casual, use contractions and short sentences that capture the rhythm of ordinary conversation. To test your style, read the material aloud and see how it sounds.

* Don't beat around the bush. Say things directly and write most sentences in order of subject, verb, and object. Avoid such words as possibly, maybe, or perhaps. Emphasize the positive: For example, instead of saying, "We hope you will not be disappointed," say, "We're sure that you will be pleased." Avoid inflated words like utilize, commence, and converse, when simpler ones -- use, begin, and talk -- will do.

* Proofread everything. When you are trying to win someone's confidence, don't give the impression of not caring about details. Put the material away for an hour or a day, then review it with a fresh eye. Often the writer thinks he has said something but hasn't actually put it down on paper. Have a second person edit your writing. Even professional writers need editors.