Better Letters
"Your recalcitrance in expediting payment of your obligations obviates consideration of further extension of credit privileges, and we foresee no viable alternative than cancellation of aforesaid privileges."
Does that sound like one of your business letters? If so, you may want to check out the just-published McGraw-Hill Handbook of Business Letters, by Roy W. Poe, (McGraw-Hill, 286 pages; $34.95). It shows how to deal with letter-writing situations in 10 categories: transmittals and confirmations; requests for information, appointments, and favors; letters to customers, including pacifying correspondence to irate customers; credit and collection: sales communications; letters to suppliers; public relations and personnel; employee relations; job applications and resignations; and social correspondence. The handbook also describes 160 typical letters and explains the psychology of certain letter-writing techniques.
The above example of egregious bureaucratese is taken from the book, which recommends that you couch the same message in simpler words: "I'm sorry, Mr. Baxter, that we are not able to offer you additional credit. I'm sure you know the reason: You still owe us money that we haven't been able to collect." In short, you are now on C.O.D.
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