Book Value

Several new books purport to offer readers a more fulfilling life. The common theme? If you're not happy, it's your own damn fault.

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The Secrets of Life

They're all about taking control

• What Matters Most, by Hyrum W. Smith (Simon & Schuster, 2000)
• Adversity Quotient @ Work, by Paul G. Stoltz, Ph.D. (William Morrow, 2000)
• What Do I Do Now? by Charles Foster, Ph.D., M.B.A. (Simon & Schuster, due out in January 2001)

The great philosopher James Taylor -- yes, the singer-songwriter of "You've Got a Friend" fame -- once wrote, "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." By that standard, a significant percentage of otherwise successful people are failing to unlock the secret of life. And so the nation's publishers are rushing to the rescue. The common theme in several books is this: if you aren't happy, it's your own damn fault.

The best of the new releases is What Matters Most: The Power of Living Your Values, by Hyrum W. Smith (Simon & Schuster, 2000). As befits the vice-chairman of Franklin Covey and the father of the Franklin Planner, Smith is anything but subtle. But he makes a compelling argument that if life isn't going the way you want, you have two choices: change so you are happy or quit complaining.

Look at how Smith, also the author of The Ten Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management: Proven Strategies for Increased Productivity and Inner Peace (Warner Books, 1994), deals with these two common complaints: we don't have control over our lives, and we don't have time to do the things we want to do. He writes: "We can be in control of our lives, and that control comes partly from realizing that we are constantly making choices. When people say, 'I don't have time,' what they're really saying is, 'I value something else more.' Understanding that fact is a critical element in getting one's life in order."

Smith conveys that it is up to you to figure out what is important. His point is simple: you can either react to life or put yourself in a position to control the portion that affects you. Smith suggests you segment your life into three parts:

• All the roles you play: spouse, employer, sibling, artist, caregiver, whatever.
• Your values: "what we believe to be of greatest importance and of highest priority in our lives."
• Your mission: what you see as "your overall purpose in life."

All three are vitally important -- Smith illustrates how with the image of a three-legged stool, where each leg represents one segment of your life -- and all three need to be in sync. If they are, Smith contends, what you can accomplish is limitless. If they are not, you're destined to feel unfulfilled. He makes it sound easy. And perhaps it is.

One thing that gets in the way, of course, is dealing with people who have an agenda different from yours. Their road to enjoying the passage of time and yours might conflict. The question is, What do you do in the face of such adversity?

Echoing Smith, Paul G. Stoltz, Ph.D., argues in his new book, Adversity Quotient @ Work: Making Everyday Challenges the Key to Your Success -- Putting the Principles of AQ into Action (William Morrow, 2000) that it is up to you to make the best of such conflicts. Stoltz, who three years ago wrote Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities (Wiley, 1997), is back with this not-so-surprising conclusion: the better you deal with adversity, the happier you will be and the more fulfilling your life will become.

According to Stoltz there are four key components to improving how you react to any stressful situation:

• Control, which "has two facets. First, to what extent are you able to positively influence a situation? Second, to what extent can you control your own response to a situation?"
• Ownership, or "the extent to which you take it upon yourself to improve the situation at hand, regardless of its cause."
• Reach, which "explores how far you let the adversity go into other areas of your work and life." (Stoltz argues that the more you can compartmentalize the problems you face, the better.)
• Endurance, or "how long one perceives the adversity will endure."

As the CORE mnemonic device shows, it's all up to you. And that is also the message of What Do I Do Now? Dr. Foster's 30 Laws of Great Decision Making, a self-help tome from Charles Foster, Ph.D., M.B.A. (Simon & Schuster, due out in January 2001). The book clearly is designed for the Oprah audience, but a lot of its lessons reinforce the case made by Smith and Stoltz.

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