The legal establishment put those hoops in your way so that you would be forced to jump through them. It would bear you no fruit to file a complaint in your situation, since the lawyer has a right to engage in pretrial discovery - and once an attorney is in the picture, legal rules require that you deal with him or her, not the plaintiff.
Assuming your case is of relatively modest size, it may be a candidate for mediation. Ask the court clerk for the mediation rules. If you don't get cooperation, write a letter to the presiding judge asking that your case be diverted to mediation.