Many people dread the inevitable holiday work party. After all, why would you want to spend three hours in a room full of people you barely know, most of whom (like you) would rather be doing something else?
Never fear. Here's a simple survival guide:
Never drink ANY alcoholic beverage when you're in the same room with everybody you'll be working with. OK, maybe one drink. However, if everyone else is getting totally hammered, you want to be the one who's not acting like a jackass.
I'll illustrate this point with a true story. My first wife wore a strapless dress to her first holiday party at the huge CPA firm KPMG. The band started up, she started dancing, and...Anyway, she's now a respected professor at a major university, but I'm sure to some senior partners she's still the new hire who flashed the entire division.
Never make comments or ask questions about clothing, body parts, salaries, family members, sex life, politics, drug usage, or religion.
There are only three ways this scenario ends: 1. You'll get shot down, in which case everyone sees that you've been rejected; 2. You'll offend the object of your attention, which will definitely come back to haunt you; or 3. You'll end up in the sack with a co-worker, and you'll both suffer from gossip about it until the day you leave the company. Just don't go there.
Heck, it's only one night a year.
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