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Top 12 Silly Marketing Buzzwords

Most buzzword are irritating, but these popular ones are absurd as well.

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Most marketing buzzwords are vaguely irritating, but some of them are flat out ridiculous, if you spend a few seconds to really think about them.  Here are my twelve least favorites:

1. 360 Campaign

  • Example: "Our 360 campaign will have a worldwide focus."
  • Why it's silly: If you're moving in every direction at once (i.e. 360 degrees), you're actually going nowhere.

2. Win/Win Situation

  • Example: "This deal is a win/win situation."
  • Why it's silly: By definition, you can't win unless somebody else loses. It's like when everyone gets a trophy, nobody really wins.

3. Work/Life Balance

  • Example: "We need to achieve work/life balance at the office."
  • Why it's silly: You're alive while you're working, so therefore can't balance "work" against "life."

4. Bottom Line

  • Example: "The bottom line is, we must satisfy our customers."
  • Why it's silly:  In income statements, profit doesn't appear at the bottom. Usually it's something like "cash dividends declared per common share."

5. Immersive Experience

  • Example: "Our website will have an immersive experience."
  • Why it's silly: If the experience were truly immersive, it would be like being under water, in which case you'd either drown or get out.

6. Two-way Conversation

  • Example: "We want to have a two-way conversation with our customers."
  • Why it's silly: You can't have a one-way conversation.  If it's one-way, it's not a conversation.

7. Best-In-Breed

  • Example: "This is a best-in-breed application."
  • Why it's silly: Products and services don't breed, unless your company is in the livestock segment of agribusiness.

8. Thought Leader

  • Example: "We want to be a thought leader in our industry."
  • Why it's silly: Since it's impossible to know what other people are actually thinking, you can't lead their thoughts anywhere.

9. Big Data

  • Example: "Our decision support system uses big data."
  • Why it's silly: What, exactly, makes a particular set of data "big" as opposed to "small" or "medium-sized"?  Average length of the data record?

10. Holistic

  • Example: "We're taking a holistic approach to lead development."
  • Why it's silly: Let's all meditate on our mind-body awareness! Ommmmmmmm! Hey, can I have some of your granola?

11. Value Proposition

  • Example: "Our value proposition is to sell more for less."
  • Why it's silly: I don't know about you, but for me the word "proposition" suggests not professionalism but the world's oldest profession.

12. Bleeding Edge

  • Example: "Our new technology is the bleeding edge."
  • Why it's silly: (Cue music from the film Psycho.)  Screek, screek, screek, screek!

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IMAGE: 4khz/Getty
Last updated: Oct 16, 2013

GEOFFREY JAMES did a lot of business stuff and wrote a slew of articles and books. Now he writes this column. Preorder his new book, Business Without the Bullsh*t, by May 12 and get an exclusive bonus chapter and a signed bookplate.
@Sales_Source




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