How to Manage an Office Bully
The news that former eBay CEO Meg Whitman settled a lawsuit with an employee whom she allegedly shoved has shined a spotlight on office bullying. Here's what you need to know if you have a bully in your workplace.
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Although bullying in schools has received glaring media coverage with laws enacted to address the problem, workplace bullying has not received as much attention or legal redress. Until, that is, the New York Times and other media outlets reported that California Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman had settled a lawsuit for "around $200,000" with an employee who alleged that Whitman had shoved her.
(“Yes, we had an unfortunate incident, but we resolved it in a way that speaks well for her and for eBay,” the employee told the Times.)
The revelation raised the issue of workplace bullying on the national stage, perhaps for the very first time. The reasons behind office bullying are varied, experts say. Many people tend to look at bullying as a "playground problem" – bad behavior, but not harmful. And in most cases, bullying is not illegal, which leaves managers with little recourse. But it is real, experts insist, and deserves serious attention.
Bullying is repeated mistreatment – verbal abuse; threatening, humiliating or intimidating behavior or conduct; or sabotage – that prevents work from getting done and jeopardizes the target's health, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute in Bellingham, Washington. It can be a form of racial or gender discrimination although not necessarily. The bully may be a supervisor, peer colleague or lower-level staffer.
According to a Workplace Bullying Institute study, 72 percent of bullies are bosses and 49 percent of employees report being affected by bullying at work. This guide will help you to rein in an office bully to boost morale and avoid getting caught in a bully's bull's eye.
How to Manage an Office Bully: Are You a Bully?
Denise Dawson, who runs the ReallyBadBoss.com blog, describes her first boss as "the worst bully," a cursing and screaming type who preferred to rule by fear. "We felt like prisoners more than employees," she says. "Morale was awful. Attrition was atrocious."
She worked at a small, family-owned company that made bikini wax products. The lowest point came when he asked another employee to model a bikini to give him a better idea of how they could improve their products. "And she wore it," Dawson says. "None of us said anything. We were all scared of losing our jobs."
What Dawson witnessed may be extreme, but the fear she described is not unique. Do your employees complain of random sabotage, harassment, humiliation or isolation? There's a good chance they are being bullied.
OfficeArrow, an online community for office managers and small business owners, created a quiz to see if you are a bully. For those who fear they are in a bully's bull's eye, the Workplace Bullying Institute has a checklist of early bullying signs that includes an unreasonably demanding boss, "surprise" meetings designed to humiliate, retaliatory behavior, unfounded accusations of harassment, and extreme work-related stress that interferes with your health and personal life.
"Male and female bullies tend to use the same tactics of verbal abuse and sabotage, but women will isolate another woman from the group, and deny them social contact and validation," says Gary Namie, the institute's co-founder and director. "These kinds of workers ruin jobs, careers, health, and relationships."
First, employers should try to understand why bullying happens.
"A person becomes a 'target' of a workplace bully because they brought something positive to the workplace that another person feels threatened by," such as skills and education, recognition from a supervisor, or positive interactions with colleagues," says Mike Schlict, a coordinator of New York Healthy Workplace Advocates, a grassroots group that supports pending anti-bullying legislation in New York. "In any case, you were 'targeted' because you are the biggest threat to the bully and they will do whatever they can to make your working environment a living hell."
Second, employers should look for patterns of bullying.
Vicki Lynn, vice president of research and consulting for the career management website Vault.com, recalls an incident where a new department manager at a client company was essentially driven out by jealous staffers. "Several of his staff from the get-go were uncooperative – throwing him under the bus at every opportunity, leaving early, wearing jeans to work, doing end-runs to his manager," Lynn said. "His second-in-command employees were threatened by him, his style, pedigree and technical expertise. He lasted one year. The previous manager of this unit was driven out as well."
Dig Deeper: Do You Have an Office Bully Problem?
Managing an Office Bully: Moving to Protect Your Staff
Bullies operate in a culture of silence and fear. They count on targets remaining tight-lipped about the abusive behavior and quick to flee. In a bad economic climate, people may put up with bullies because they don't have much choice. The option to strike out on one's own, change companies or go into business with a friend or colleague may not exist.
Bullying targets may be unaware of avenues that can help them work through the situation, such as assertiveness training seminars, related books and human resources.
Bosses can cultivate an anti-bullying climate by encouraging open communication and developing good management skills, says Florida psychotherapist, writer and radio host Linnda Durré.
