How to Find a Business Mentor

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“There's a million people out there who are running counseling businesses,' Lehman says, adding a bit derisively, “there are all kinds of experts who would be delighted to charge you.'

NOTE: If you're looking for a mentor outside of your circle of friends and family, how do you find someone invested in your success? You have to keep in mind what the mentor is getting out of the relationship. In the case of consultants, coaches, or especially advisory boards they have a financial stake in your relationship but there are other benefits to the mentor. Judson cites an innate human desire to help others, or put differently an interest in paying it forward. Additionally, the exchange of knowledge in a mentorship flows in both directions. Lehman says, “there's no question, I'm learning every day. That's why we do this. Also, it keeps the brain going.'

Dig Deeper: 7 Tips for Finding a Great Mentor

How to Find a Mentor: Building a Relationship

A mentoring relationship can be a significant time commitment on the part of both parties. It's not sustainable to have a mentor who you can never get in touch with, nor will a mentee last long if they call their mentor with a crisis every fifteen minutes. So how do you achieve that happy medium? It's all about setting goals and expectations.

There are four stages to a mentoring relationship, according to Zachary.

1) Getting started - In this stage you establish whether the mentor is a match for you and vice versa. You've zeroed in on a potential candidate, and now it's time to develop and possibly formalize the relationship. Get to know your mentor better, feel out what their time availability is like and think of what each of your strengths and weaknesses are so that you're aware of the things the mentor can teach you most about as well as what they can learn from you.

WARNING: If their time's too precious, it won't work. The first clues come early when you try to arrange an informational interview with a potential mentor. “I would say if you're having a hard time getting fifteen minutes that's a heads up because lack of time, or perceived lack of time, can upend a relationship,' says Zachary. She says you want someone who's committed to the process, invested in your success, and open to learning.

2) Establishing agreements - This doesn't necessarily mean drawing up a formal written document, although you could. Once you have entered into an implicit or explicit mentorship, you want to define certain things such as what success looks like, how often you will meet, what happens if something goes wrong, and what should stay confidential between you. You should meet with your mentor at least quarterly, to touch base, though you can meet more or less frequently as schedules allow or as the need arises, and each relationship will develop its own rhythms. Set both short-term and long-term goals such as running a successful marketing campaign, or expanding to a new location, or launching an IPO.

3) Mentoring at work - The third stage is the body of the mentoring relationship and is therefore the longest of the four. You meet with your mentor periodically and take independent steps towards improving your own business and management skills as well as meeting goals for your company's growth and change.

These steps should, in part, be based on your mentor's advice, so it's important to find someone who won't pat you on the back. Judson often receives calls supposedly soliciting advice only to have the potential mentee rebutting the feedback they were supposedly asking for. Successful mentees have to overcome this instinct. Judson says, “the most natural thing in the world is not to listen, it's to defend yourself.'

If you can handle it, Judson says, it's not hard to get a mentor to hit you with their frankest feedback. “Repeatedly people have said to me, how do you get people to tell you these awful things about yourself? And the answer is that I ask for them and I'm open.'

4) Coming to closure - If all has gone well and you have met the goals you originally set out with your mentor, you can discuss meeting less regularly. Hopefully you will have developed a friendship that extends beyond the mentorship and remain in touch, but your status as an acolyte soaking up knowledge at the foot of the expert is a thing of the past and you should be able to take on many of the curveballs that come your way single-handedly.

If you have not met the goals you set out, you can discuss extending the arrangement, or, if you feel that the relationship is not working out as you had hoped, you should politely thank the mentor and let them know that you feel they have given you valuable tools for dealing with your business challenges and that you will keep them appraised of your progress though you will not need to meet as frequently. Phasing things out gradually is advisable, and make sure not to burn any bridges as it could easily come back to haunt you later in your career.

Dig Deeper: Mentors for Hire

Resources

Find information on your nearest chamber of commerce and don't be shy about stopping by in person.

If you do government contracting, the U.S. Small Business Administration has a mentor protégé program that helps you learn the ropes of snagging stimulus dollars.

The Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE) has 364 chapters around the country where seasoned execs will school you free of charge.

Similarly, Silver Fox Advisers is a Houston-based group of business veterans who will provide long term mentoring or even put together ad hoc advisory boards. Initial interviews are free but after the first meeting the hourly rate shoots up to over $100 per hour.

Rising Tide Capital is a Jersey City, New Jersey-based non-profit that trains and works with entrepreneurs, especially women and minorities, in low-income communities.

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