Start-up founders are an odd—and awe-inspiring—breed. They take huge risks, try big ideas, and (sometimes) succeed in completely changing how the world thinks about a product or service. But... they're extreme optimists and always selling and that means sometimes they say some dumb stuff. So it's time to poke a little fun.

I give you, sh*t entrepreneurs say:

  • "I’m not your typical entrepreneur."
  • "Trust me. Someday equity will be a lot more important to you than salary."
  • "R & D is only for people who don't have a clear vision."
  • "Our culture is the most important thing."
  • "I can't tell you what we're working on. Just know that it will be huge."
  • "If it’s not at least a $5 billion market it’s not worth our time."
  • "All we need now is funding."
  • "Hey, didn’t I see you at CES?"
  • "We’ll just pivot and nail the next iteration."
  • "Trust me, it will scale."
  • "Customers are definitely willing to pay a premium for green."
  • "Our company? We're like the Groupon of... no, wait."
  • "When you consider the bigger picture that's just a rounding error."
  • "Once we launch they'll be forced to react to us."
  • "We're targeting a global niche."
  • "Looks like someone is having corporate Kool-Aid flashbacks."
  • "The VCs we've met just can't see the bigger picture."
  • "We don't need to change the game. We are the game."
  • "Behind every minimum viable product is someone who sold out."
  • "We're in stealth mode."
  • "We're kind of like the Apple of the landscaping industry. Just a lot more visionary."
  • "Seriously. Do you think Mark Zuckerberg was obsessing over revenue when he was coding in his dorm room?"
  • "Our service will sell itself."
  • "SXSW has gotten too mainstream for me."
  • "Is it just me or does the Ramen noodle phase kinda suck?"
  • "I can't tell you much. TechCrunch has been sniffing around again."
  • "The market just wasn’t ready."
  • "We're like the SimpleGeo of... hold on."
  • "In two years I’ll step aside and see what lies over the next horizon."
  • "Every great entrepreneur has failed."
  • "If you take a step back it looks a lot better."
  • "Right now we prefer to grow organically."
  • "I wish our sales team had a clue."
  • "I'm not interested in money or fame. If we can change the world, that's plenty."
  • "Yes! Richard Branson is going to tweet about us. We are so money."
  • "Looks like I’ll be pulling another all nighter… (pause) Hey, wanna do something tonight?"
  • "Most of my time is spent holding the board's hand."
  • "We gave it 120%. Looking back I wish we had worked a little harder."
  • " I think Branson uses Buffer so he probably had a week’s worth of tweets already queued."
  • "Remember, Amazon lost money for years."
  • "VCs wouldn’t know a real opportunity if one came up and bit them on the ass."
  • "In hindsight I think we were a little too proactive."
  • "The consumer isn't smart enough to realize how great we really are."
  • "It's okay. Branson probably paid for all his followers anyway."
  • "Hey, not a big deal, but are you guys hiring?"

Feel free to add yours in the comments below!