Sh*t Entrepreneurs Say
Start-up founders are an odd—and awe-inspiring—breed. They take huge risks, try big ideas, and (sometimes) succeed in completely changing how the world thinks about a product or service. But... they're extreme optimists and always selling and that means sometimes they say some dumb stuff. So it's time to poke a little fun.
I give you, sh*t entrepreneurs say:
- "I’m not your typical entrepreneur."
- "Trust me. Someday equity will be a lot more important to you than salary."
- "R & D is only for people who don't have a clear vision."
- "Our culture is the most important thing."
- "I can't tell you what we're working on. Just know that it will be huge."
- "If it’s not at least a $5 billion market it’s not worth our time."
- "All we need now is funding."
- "Hey, didn’t I see you at CES?"
- "We’ll just pivot and nail the next iteration."
- "Trust me, it will scale."
- "Customers are definitely willing to pay a premium for green."
- "Our company? We're like the Groupon of... no, wait."
- "When you consider the bigger picture that's just a rounding error."
- "Once we launch they'll be forced to react to us."
- "We're targeting a global niche."
- "Looks like someone is having corporate Kool-Aid flashbacks."
- "The VCs we've met just can't see the bigger picture."
- "We don't need to change the game. We are the game."
- "Behind every minimum viable product is someone who sold out."
- "We're in stealth mode."
- "We're kind of like the Apple of the landscaping industry. Just a lot more visionary."
- "Seriously. Do you think Mark Zuckerberg was obsessing over revenue when he was coding in his dorm room?"
- "Our service will sell itself."
- "SXSW has gotten too mainstream for me."
- "Is it just me or does the Ramen noodle phase kinda suck?"
- "I can't tell you much. TechCrunch has been sniffing around again."
- "The market just wasn’t ready."
- "We're like the SimpleGeo of... hold on."
- "In two years I’ll step aside and see what lies over the next horizon."
- "Every great entrepreneur has failed."
- "If you take a step back it looks a lot better."
- "Right now we prefer to grow organically."
- "I wish our sales team had a clue."
- "I'm not interested in money or fame. If we can change the world, that's plenty."
- "Yes! Richard Branson is going to tweet about us. We are so money."
- "Looks like I’ll be pulling another all nighter… (pause) Hey, wanna do something tonight?"
- "Most of my time is spent holding the board's hand."
- "We gave it 120%. Looking back I wish we had worked a little harder."
- " I think Branson uses Buffer so he probably had a week’s worth of tweets already queued."
- "Remember, Amazon lost money for years."
- "VCs wouldn’t know a real opportunity if one came up and bit them on the ass."
- "In hindsight I think we were a little too proactive."
- "The consumer isn't smart enough to realize how great we really are."
- "It's okay. Branson probably paid for all his followers anyway."
- "Hey, not a big deal, but are you guys hiring?"
Feel free to add yours in the comments below!
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