Note 1: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual businesses, entities, or persons, whether living, dead, or Kardashian, is entirely coincidental.
Note 2: I borrowed the email hack idea from Justin Halpern. He carried it off a lot better.
Note 3: To the best of my knowledge Mark Zuckerberg doesn't use Gmail and probably holds his fingers in the sign of the cross at the mere suggestion... but it's still a cool thought.