Mark Zuckerberg's story is fascinating. If a VC fund had hired a bunch of talented programmers to build Facebook, the company story would be a case study, not a movie.
Jeff: OK, say I'm a small-business owner. Where do I start?
Julia: Start by deciding on the word you want to define you.
Quite frankly, I made a big mistake early on: I didn't set the word before it was set for me. You must decide on your word before other people decide it for you. One of the reasons I know so much about personal branding is that I did so many things wrong.
Make a list of the adjectives you want people to repeat after they meet you, talk to you, see or read about you... What do you want your customers to think of when they think of you--and by extension, your company?
Maybe you want them to feel happier, healthier, more energetic, more confident, safer... make your list. Then boil it down to one word you want to encapsulate your personal brand.
Jeff: What's on your list?
Julia: Mine includes words like "irreverent," "humorous," "intelligent," "insightful," and "relatable."
Jeff: So I make a list. Other than making me feel a little self-conscious, how does that help me?
Julia: For years, I would do interviews and then read the article and think, "Wait, what just happened? That's not the interaction I thought we had. That wasn't my intention at all."
So I wrote down my intentions. Not in a manipulative way, but in a way to help me focus. I thought about what I wanted people to get from their interactions with me; once I did, things started to change.
Before I did the TV show, I wrote down things I wanted viewers to get from our "interaction." I wanted them to be able to relate to me; to feel like they can laugh about things that are depressing, like having a crappy love life; and I wanted to make them happy. The feedback I've gotten is almost exactly that.
Jeff: So you just extend your list to all your interactions: with customers, suppliers, employees, PR and media opportunities.
Julia: Exactly. And that's why a personal brand is so important: It allows people to trust you. When you're authentic, people can trust you--and they want to do business with you.
So instead of trying to be something you're not, be exactly who you are and intend to be.
Jeff: One of the risks of promoting a personal brand is that you open yourself up to criticism, especially if you have strong opinions. In a world of online reviews and instant feedback, many small businesses will do anything to limit negative "coverage."
The more you're out there, the less control you have.
Julia: We live in exceptionally difficult times for unwarranted and ad hominem attacks. The key is to realize that comments fall into one of two categories.
The first category is genuine complaints you need to address. Once you're finished cringing, fix the problems. Then, respond to every single comment on any public forum with every ounce of kindness and class and diplomacy you have ever mustered in your entire life.
The second category is angry people who criticize you unfairly or just for spite; there's nothing you can say or do to make them feel better. Every public figure gets those comments. You just have to accept it.
If you want to be successful and make a difference, you will run into people who are unhappy and take that unhappiness out on you.
Sometimes people say really nasty stuff to me. It's not easy to take, but you have to take the bad with the good. That's just how it works, so knowing how to separate those two kinds of comments can make the difference.
Jeff: I've seen some of the stuff people have said about you. I'm not sure I could get past that.
Julia: The good that will come from establishing a great personal brand totally outweighs the bad. Part of life is learning how to deal with criticism. It's not fun; it's not been my favorite activity for the last 10 years; but it has taught me how to deal with unhappy people.
Sometimes things go wrong. Go forward with humor and a humble attitude and a willingness to do right--even if you didn't screw up--and you will win over 95% of your detractors.
Also, don't be afraid to show weakness. We live in a culture that celebrates bloopers. If you can apologize for your mistakes and address them in a classy, funny, and humble way, people will forgive you.
Just do your best, and apologize when you fail.
Jeff: Even if you don't get criticized, it's still a little scary for the average person to think of setting out to be more public, whether that's media opportunities or just networking.
Julia: I jumped out of a plane recently. That's scary, but it also makes me feel more alive.
For many people, getting in front of a television camera or talking to a journalist is like jumping out of a plane. It feels very dangerous, scary, and antithetical to survival. It's not: It makes you feel alive.
If you have your own business and you're relying on yourself, you're already a risk taker. Why not go that extra 2 inches?
Talking about why you're so passionate about something you chose to devote your life to--compared to starting a business, that's easy. And the return can be incredible.
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