A Cure For Ad Agency Blues

If you ever want to see a glazed expression or a look of utter frustration, just ask an entrepreneur about his advertising agency. Most chief executive officers think the budget heading "advertising expense" might just as well be called "mystery expense" or, worse still, "rip-off" expense. You can make book that CEOs, especially in small companies, think they're being had by their ad agencies. And for good reason: they are. But not by crooks or thieves or dummies. For the most part, they are dealing with bright, honest, dedicated professionals. So, why the dilemma?

The answer is simple. The average CEO doesn't understand advertising agencies. He knows that they somehow create advertising and then place it. But he thinks of them as outsiders, who spend most of their time brownnosing him and everybody else in his company. He resents their continuing effort to get more money for advertising, regardless of whether it produces sales. His life is made even more miserable because while the agency is hounding him for more advertising money, his sales executives are telling him to spend less on advertising and more for field sales. It's no wonder that CEOs throw up their hands. But they're wrong. Advertising is an area that desperately needs a CEO's personal involvement. And that's particularly true in small, or not-so-small, companies, where the future of the company may depend on the CEO's making the right decisions.

Since I have been on both sides of the fence (I once owned an agency, and I've spent tens of millions of advertising dollars through outside agencies), let me try to shed some light on how you can make the advertising world work for you.

Let's begin with the account executive, who is, or should be, your principal contact with the agency. This is a good place to start because if you miss here, there's no way to win. The account executive's job description says that he is responsible for coordinating all of your requirements with the appropriate people within the agency. In fact, his job is: (1) to keep your account; and (2) to get your ad budget increased. His job is political, both with you and with the people at the agency. So you shouldn't be surprised if he spends a lot of time currying your favor.

Don't think for a moment that you can change the character of account executives, because you can't. What you can and should do is be sure that you get the best the agency has to offer. A word to the wise: don't try to get any of the top dogs. Agencies are like any other company -- their top management is snowed under. This means you won't get the time you need when you need it. On the other hand, if the agency people try to palm off some junior person or the owner's brother-in-law, give your old tried-and-true CEO silent stare until they try again. What you want is someone who is bright, who knows the agency like the back of his hand, and who isn't loaded down with 50 other accounts. Keep staring until they produce someone who gives you a warm feeling.

Once you're satisfied, help your account executive to be a better politician within your company. The more he knows about you and your key players, the better he will function. Understand, though, that all account executives are expected to spend money on accounts that the agency wants to keep. So if you won't let him pick up checks, buy your spouse gifts, furnish hard-to-get tickets, and so on, then his management will assume that you don't like him or that he's doing a lousy job. If you're not careful, you may lose a good account executive and get stuck with the brother-in-law, or go back to staring again. It may sound silly, but then the whole business is silly. Remember, you are playing by their rules. Don't try to change the unchangeable. And remember, too, the account executive is going to be spending your money on something you don't know a damned thing about, so ask questions, be demanding, and don't get conned.

Now, for the creative department. You'll have no trouble recognizing them, because they never look normal. Don't act surprised to meet some weird-looking thing, with hair down to his waist if it's a man, or a crew cut if it's a woman. Expect them to treat you like a worm and to laugh at all your ideas -- they don't understand brownnosing very well. If they remotely resemble someone you would hire, you've got the wrong agency. If the agency tries to keep the creative people hidden, insist on meeting them; first, because it will make your day, but more important, because they are the reason you are hiring the agency in the first place. (You may be told by your agency that creative represents only 10% to 20% of the agency's work, which is true, but that's the same as saying that your lungs are only 10% of your body -- it's hard to breathe without them.)

Let the creative people show you their work. What you are looking for is something that is fresh and different, even outrageous. Contrary to the advice you may have received, you are not looking for practical or solid creative ideas. Hell, you can think of those -- that's exactly what they were laughing at. What you are looking for are new and exciting ideas that stir the imagination. Who knows what the final ad or commercial will look like, but it's vital that you have the talent available to start with something truly creative. What you don't want is warmedover copies of past efforts, or, even worse, something that was designed to please you and wouldn't sell grits in Georgia. So keep your nose out of the creative sessions.