Actually, I sit on someone else's board as a "follower." One of 10, I was invited to the position by the owner of a private club where I am a member. With a fresh kind of clarity I can see this owner sitting at the club's board meetings, talking with authority for so long without in-terruption that finally no one bothers to interrupt. Instead, we sit quietly, looking at our watches. Our independent ideas are not really needed. That sets me to wondering, How many times have I asked for opinions and then raced ahead without listening to the answers of my board? Of my employees? How many times have I withheld information that I didn't think they were ready to hear or that I didn't want to bother explaining?
As I sit looking around the table at these men, I wonder how many of them have built their companies by having all the answers. Or how many have let other people come up with ideas that they have listened to with great interest and enthusiasm and then followed. How hard is it, really, to let go of your own company? I order Kelley's book.
* * *
SEPTEMBER 27, 1992 Weekend at the cottage is over. I cannot seem to flesh out a personal vision that satisfies me. I decide to freshen up our mission statement, distribute it to the staff, and get back to work -- which is what I seem to do best.
* * *
SEPTEMBER 29, 1992 Meet with Diane N. and Mary Z., my two top people. It is all I can do to keep my mouth shut and listen. These two women have worked so hard for the company and their employees all week, and they are bringing me up to date on their progress. Am I letting them run the company and keeping out of their way? It is very, very hard. I find myself scheduling time outside the office lately. It is easier not to make decisions if I am not forced to confront them. I go on sales calls, and take work home to my home office. I read over the reports and think of ways to ask questions without second-guessing decisions.
OCTOBER 19, 1992 I meet with Mike P.'s friend who asked us for the telemarketing quote. We did not get the job. Our price was competitive and our references were excellent, but his client had gone directly to a vendor without his knowledge.
Over lunch he tells me how he grew his business. (It has become a standard question I ask anyone who owns a business.) It is a fascinating story about a great success and a few setbacks. I do not know him well enough to ask him if he ever sat down and wrote out his personal business goals.
OCTOBER 22, 1992 We are expanding the telemarketing department, and I offer to clean out the area it will move into. In jeans and a sweater, I sit on the floor, sifting through boxes of files taken out of the old sales office. This is where nine salespeople have come and gone over the last eight years.
It's a little like looking at the history of the company compressed into "general correspondence." Letters to companies no longer in our market, proposals long forgotten because they were filed by someone who is no longer here. I wonder how a huge company prevents this from happening. Who sits on the floor weeding out sales-proposal files at Westinghouse or Apple? Who makes sure all those prospective customers are treated well, not lost in the shuffle during employee turnover?
OCTOBER 26, 1992 Business is going well. Yet my work load seems to be more and more overwhelming. I bring all my paperwork home tonight in a big box. We have more employees than ever, I feel I am delegating more than ever before, and yet, I have never felt busier. Can't figure it out.
OCTOBER 29, 1992 In the last week I have received inquiries for our business-to-business telemarketing that put my lack of long-term objectives to the test. If 50% of the inquiries from this month alone turn into jobs, we could expand from 25 employees to 50 employees by the end of the year.
* * *
Today I meet with James S., one of three partners in a 12-year-old computer-supply company that is grossing more than $1 million per month. He is reviewing our computer needs because we may have to buy more equipment. Yet I cannot tell him how many computers we may eventually need, because I have not decided how fast I want us to grow or where we want to be in three years.
* * *
I share my problem with him. He admits that planning for growth sounds good but is not always so easy. Even at a company the size of his, he and his partners work on it constantly. [Note: My board has helped me to open up and share insights like never before. I see that the companies doing $5 million, $10 million, $20 million look and act like mine. The owners are not geniuses or unique by some entrepreneurial definition that could not apply to me. They admit that grave mistakes mark their histories. But they also share great ideas.]
In James's case, he and his cofounders began working in partnership with one of the largest computer manufacturers in the world six months after they formed the company. They have been asking for help from that manufacturer -- also a client of ours -- and getting it for 12 years.
NOVEMBER 10, 1992 Lunch with my banker, Jim S. He is the one who championed my line of credit and equipment loan last fall. He calls me periodically to see "if the patient is healthy." Mostly I tell him about proposals we are working on and new contracts. We are meeting our loan payments easily these days. That feels very good to me. Jim does not mention it. He had suggested we hire business students from the University of Pittsburgh to help us with daytime projects. We had done that and found a great employee. I thank him for the idea. [Note: We are in the sixth month of a major newspaper strike, so it is not easy to find people to keep up with our growth. Our turnover rate is less than 25%, excellent for telemarketing. Hiring full-time people and paying benefits seem to be paying off.]
I tell Jim we may want to extend our line of credit next spring, based on increased receivables -- but that I'd like to see if we can meet payroll without it. The idea of borrowing money still goes against the grain with me. I still don't know how to do a cash-flow analysis.