"Which rules you more, (a) your head? or (b) your heart?"
A talented software program- mer in his own right, Jerry Fiddler didn't need a scientist for a partner. But when his landlord evicted him and his embryonic enterprise from a garage in 1983, Fiddler seized the moment to do some traveling. He paid an engineer friend to mind what was left of the store. On Fiddler's return, the friend announced that at the current salary, he no longer cared to work for him. Work with me then, Fiddler offered, and the two shook hands on a 50-50 share of, essentially, nothing. "There was no capital," Fiddler relates. "If we needed equipment, one or the other would spring for it." When they officially incorporated Wind River Systems, it was capitalized not in dollars but in the paraphernalia each owned. The union blossomed, and soon the partners had to decide who'd take engineering and who'd take operations. A personality-grading test revealed Fiddler's partner's insistence on detail and susceptibility to anxiety; it also revealed the laid-back Fiddler's diametric inclinations. "I hadn't thought of us as fragmented before," says Fiddler, "but it must be good to be opposite in those ways, since we've never had a fight." They're not apt to. Fiddler took the position of CEO; his partner took vice-president of engineering. On the day their company went public last year, its market value was $79 million.
THREE VIEWS FROM ABOVE
The professionals who counsel partners all agree that learning how to talk is the key. Learning how to listen helps, too
Jack Rosenblum
A management consultant for 25 years, Rosenblum joined the Atlanta Consulting Group in 1983 as one of four partners to train business teams to work together.
Jack Rosenblum: "We believe in a concept called 'working by agreement,' based on the notion that people who keep agreements build credibility, which eventually builds trust. Getting to trust is essential. We ask partners to make only agreements they fully intend to keep, give early notice when an agreement must be broken, and initiate the cleaning up of any broken agreements they've caused.
"There was a partner who was great at criticism but not at acknowledgment, so I got him to promise to do three acknowledgments a day. It became fun for his partners to be near him late in the afternoon, just when he remembered to start.
"Talking is scary. Partners are afraid that bringing up disagreements will ruin the relationship. So they ruin the relationship anyway by not talking. A solution is to make an 'I' statement instead of a 'you' statement. No one can challenge my views, my feelings, my opinions. I'd say to you, 'I feel I'm being treated unfairly in terms of compensation, given what we're each contributing' -- and you can't call me a liar, because I'm the sole authority on me. But if I say, 'You're incompetent,' it's a judgment defining someone else.
"I was lecturing in front of a group when one of my partners interrupted and said, 'Jack, give me all the change in your pocket.' I trust the guy, so I gave it to him and asked, 'OK, why?' He said, 'I can't stand your jingling change while you talk.' I had no idea I was doing it. A total blind spot. We all have them, and the bigger the blind spot, the bigger the danger. The antidote is regular feedback. But most people won't risk giving unasked-for feedback. You have to seek it by asking questions like, 'What am I doing that hinders you on this job?' People will tell the truth, because you've established a safety zone: 'I'm committed to listening. I want to know.' "
Mary Moore
Holding an M.B.A., with a specialty in executive behavior, Moore was a corporate manager for more than 15 years before she formed a consultancy that deals with technology companies.
Mary Moore: "My aim is to get the partners to hear the facts. I start by interviewing, observing, and testing. Then I sit down with each partner and give him the feedback. Maybe something like, 'You see yourself as a strong businessperson, but that isn't how you're perceived. Your long suit is extraordinary technical wizardry. It would be unusual to possess both skills, and I don't think you do. Nobody else here thinks so, either.'
"Then I bring the partners together, and we talk about what we've talked about behind closed doors. It's amazing how open they are about some very tough feedback. Somebody might say, 'I got a lot of response that says that while I'm not good at this, I am good at that.' That allows the rest to answer, 'You know, that's true.' That's something neither side would have been able to say before.
