* * *
Inc.: Had you ever done any drawing?
Adams: Just doodling. Nothing serious.
* * *
Inc.: So, when you left Pacific Bell, how prepared were you to be on your own? Do you have a business plan?
Adams: United Media, my syndication company, has a business plan, which I contribute to, but it doesn't have much impact on how I spend my day. My own business plan is to spend less than I earn.
* * *
Inc.: Do you have a different perception of bosses now that you are one?
Adams: I don't consider myself a boss in the classic sense, since I don't directly pay anyone's salary or do any performance reviews. But assuming I become one someday, I'll surely think I'm a flawless boss. If bosses could recognize their flaws, they wouldn't have so many. There must be some kind of cognitive camouflage you get when you become a manager.
* * *
Inc.: Is there any difference between bosses at big companies and bosses at small companies, or are they all equally stupid?
Adams: Actually, I have to say bosses at big companies tend to be stupider. If you're stupid at a small company, it becomes a noncompany so quickly that, by a process of natural selection, you pretty much have to be smarter if you're still in business.
* * *
Inc.: Do you ever find yourself behaving like an employee out of sheer habit? Are you ever tempted, for example, to steal office supplies from yourself? File a grievance? Take an unauthorized sick day?
Adams: I have sexually harassed myself, but it never got reported. Sick days aren't the joy they used to be. The best way to keep my mind off being sick is to work, so I end up putting in 14-hour days instead of 12-hour ones.
* * *
Inc.: Tell us about your car. Now that you're the founder, president, and CEO of an emerging growth company, you gotta have wheels -- real, entrepreneurial wheels. With a vanity plate.
Adams: I drive a little black 1991 Nissan NX 2000 with 55,000 miles on it. I hate buying cars, so I'll probably keep it forever. My license plate is "DOGBERT," because my first Dogbert book paid for the car. At the time it was an obscure reference. Now people recognize it. I can't make as many obscene gestures on the highway.
* * *
Inc.: Have you started to hate government yet? Have the regulators come after you?
Adams: I hate the government on April 15 every year, but otherwise it leaves me alone. I've organized my cats into a militia in case that situation changes.
* * *
Inc.: What about product extensions of Dilbert -- like, say, a theme park for employees only?
Adams: I'd love to start a theme park called Dilbertland. It would have cubicle mazes, engineering marvels, a 3-D boss-shooting gallery, cool but worthless technology -- that sort of thing. But for now we're sticking with the usual stuff like lunch boxes, ties, you name it. If you can write on it, if it will hold a label, it's a prime target for licensing.
* * *
Inc.: So you're not worried about overexposure.
Adams: I am, but the odd thing is that you can't get to overexposure without getting to filthy rich first.
* * *
Inc.: I realize this probably won't happen, but -- if you ever had to look for a job -- which company would you most like to work for?
Adams: I'd like to work for a small software-game company. I'd like to be able to sit in my cubicle playing games and know it's work related. I won't name a specific company because the disgruntled employees there will hate me for undermining their claims of working for a hideous employer.
* * *
Inc.: Do you have any business heroes?
Adams: I'm most impressed with businesspeople who can make something out of nothing. I like how Bill Gates turned a good idea, a lot of hard work, some luck, and a bit of competitive advantage into $16 billion . It's amazing when you think of all the things that could have been done wrong to keep it from happening. Steve Case also impresses me. I like how he's continually confounded the critics and made America Online the biggest on-line service. It's probably the classic case of how to ignore the opinions of experts.
* * *
Inc.: Now that you have your own business, do you ever worry that one day you'll wake up and -- poof! -- it will all be gone? That suddenly demand will soften, cash will disappear, and your creditors will start beating down your door? I guess I'm asking whether you ever think you should have kept your day job.
Adams: Not until this moment. Thanks a lot!
* * *
George Gendron can be reached at george.gendron@inc.com
* * *
Dilbert Inc.
Miscellaneous facts about the man and his business:
The Dilbert strip began in 1989 and now appears in more than 1,000 newspapers in 29 countries.
Adams is 38 and has a B.A. in economics from Hartwick College, in Oneonta, N.Y., and an M.B.A. from the University of California at Berkeley.
He worked at Crocker Bank in San Francisco from 1979 to 1986 and at Pacific Bell from 1986 to 1995, mostly in various engineering groups.
He made about $70,000 a year at Pacific Bell -- far less than he made from Dilbert after the first couple of years.
His Web page is the Dilbert Zone (at http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert). It reportedly gets 55,000 visitors a day.
He has an on-line newsletter with 110,000 subscribers. It goes out on a random schedule and includes cross-promotion for other licensed Dilbert goods, as well as the usual funny stuff.
For about two weeks after a newsletter drop, Adams gets about 1,000 electronic-mail messages a day. Otherwise, he gets about 300 E-mail messages a day, most of which are suggestions for the comic strip. He claims to read all his E-mail personally.
He's a sole proprietor and has no employees.
