Your Business or Your Life

A business coach and author gives entrepreneurs a way to make a family plan alongside a business plan.

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Planning

If you want your business and your marriage to prosper, you need a family plan

When I started my first business, it truly was all my own--because I was single. Today I own another business, but I'm married, with children and stepchildren. Along the way I've learned a truth too many entrepreneurs ignore: if you're married and want to stay that way, there's no such thing as "my company." Smart entrepreneurs need to plan not just for their business but also for the impact it will have on their family life.

Consider the case of Lisa and Roy. Their names and the specific details of their story have been changed, but the overarching problems are all too real--and all too common. Ever since 1994, when I began researching my book, Honey, I Want to Start My Own Business: A Planning Guide for Couples, I've been encountering couples like this one.

Lisa: "When Roy was laid off from his sales-management job, he took his severance pay and most of our savings and bought a troubled manufacturing company. Roy doesn't know anything about the industry--or about running a business, period. I told him the whole thing was a big mistake, but he wouldn't listen to me. I was right, and it's been a fiasco since we signed the papers, three years ago. Now I'm afraid we'll lose our house. The worst part is that I'm losing Roy. He's closer to his business partner than to me. He doesn't appreciate how much I'm sacrificing: all he cares about is his stupid business. I'm afraid we're going to end up divorced."

Roy: "I'm doing what it takes to turn a profit and support our family. My partner and I knew the business would require a lot of sweat equity, but Lisa expects miracles. She doesn't understand anything about the business, but she's still on my case about how to run it. She also complains that our relationship is suffering. But every time we're together, she's angry and unhappy with me. I wish she'd just trust me to do what it takes to make this business work."

Lisa and Roy made a fundamental error. They didn't approach the decision to buy a business as a team, and Lisa wasn't prepared for the sacrifices required. Though Roy put together a business plan, Lisa and Roy also needed a family plan. A family plan addresses the issues that must be resolved when changes in your business will alter your family's life. What follows are some of the questions a couple like Lisa and Roy should have answered before deciding on the buyout--or any other major entrepreneurial business decision.

Finances: How much cash will Lisa and Roy invest before the business becomes profitable, or if it later hits a downturn? How much credit-card debt are they willing to take on? How are they going to pay the bills when the company isn't making money? Are they willing to risk losing the house? When do they draw the line and shut the business down if it's not profitable?

Roles in the Business: Since Roy used joint savings to capitalize the business, is Lisa entitled to decision-making power in the company? How will they resolve conflict if Lisa disagrees with some of Roy's decisions but doesn't have formal authority? How will Roy keep Lisa informed enough about the business to give her a long-term perspective?

Personal Sacrifice: How many hours will Roy put into the business each week? What steps will Roy and Lisa take to keep their marriage healthy despite the pressures of a turnaround venture? What sacrifices is each unwilling to make for the business--even if the result is that the company doesn't survive?

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