Goodman: I don't think they say them seriously. And they certainly don't act on them. In one way, entrepreneurs are no different from the rest of us: we all get lost in the most mundane things. We lose the perspective of who we are, of what our true basic nature is. And that causes suffering. It's tragic that our entrepreneurs--the people who put their butts on the line every day, the people who have the intelligence, drive, ambition, commitment, and courage--should wake up one morning and realize that they've created a monster that's devouring their life. To have that person really take a step back and ask the questions, Why am I here? What am I really trying to accomplish? How can this business I've built help me accomplish that? The logic of doing that is so clear and so compelling to people who find themselves at that crisis point. It's very easy for them to say, "Yeah, I get that. I've really been focused on the wrong thing. I've been focused on this business instead of on my life and what I want it to be."
Inc.: So a by-product of not taking care of your own interests is that you're likely to wake up one morning and discover that you've created a monster that devours your life.
Goodman: Oh, absolutely, and that discovery is so important.
Inc.: In spite of the suffering it causes?
Goodman: It isn't the discovery that causes the suffering. It's losing your way that causes suffering. I had a client call me up one day in tears. She runs a temp business that's quite successful, and she said, "Every time somebody comes in and asks me a question, I burst into tears. I can't make a decision. I lie awake at night." I said, "This is fabulous." She was stunned into silence. So I said, "Look, you can count on one hand the number of times in your life you'll be at a crossroads like this. And you'll learn things from this experience that you can't learn any other way. It's not fun but it's incredibly productive if you'll embrace this. This is one of the really special times in your life. The work is in renegotiating your relationship with your values, your shoulds and ought-to's, and learning to recalibrate your life around your needs."
Inc.: Yes, but when you're starting a business, does it really fit to say, "My needs and legitimate interests are primary and ought to be served first and foremost"?
Goodman: Absolutely. I learned that way back, in my first business. My partner was older and used to say to me, "You know, we have to take care of ourselves. Because if we go down, then our customers are going to say, 'You know, Herb and Lanny were nice guys, but who is going to do my work?" And that's exactly what would happen. This notion that the customer is everything is the worst kind of hogwash. Business is a bilateral process. It is not a unilateral process at any level of the game. Remember, the mission of every business is to fulfill the needs of the shareholders, and not just the financial needs. And we do that by taking very good care of our customers and creating lots of opportunities for our employees.
Inc.: So you'd advise the company builder to fight the urge to do what he or she thinks ought to be done and instead focus on making sure this bilateral process is working?
Goodman: There needs to be a recalibrating from shoulds and ought-to's to our own fundamental needs, what I call the art of creative selfishness. If you look at the dynamics of all relationships, personal or professional, they are vital and durable only when everyone's legitimate interests get satisfied. If I don't know what my needs are at a deep personal level and I don't know how to build a track to the fulfillment of those needs, then I cannot have a healthy relationship with my business. It becomes at some level pathological and puts the relationship at risk. The underlying importance of creative selfishness is that we honor our own integrity and recognize that our ability to give is directly proportional to our commitment to receive. Unless we maintain a balance in those things, then we cannot serve at bigger and higher levels.
Inc.: I understand that conceptually, but how does it play out in the real world?
Goodman: If you ask most entrepreneurs what they want to do with their businesses, most will tell you that they want to build them up and sell them. If you ask why, they'll tell you it's because they can't stand the daily hassles and the financial risk of having so many eggs in one basket. Both of those problems can be solved with some planning. If your company is supporting you in having a great life, why on earth would you want to sell it?
Inc.: This is business building on a very personal level.
Goodman: It's a mistake to think that owning your own business can be anything but personal. That's both the curse and the blessing of the entrepreneurial company--there's no place to hide. When you look at your company, you're going to see a reflection of yourself. Clarity, coherence, and focus are critical in the marketplace and in relationships. When you wring the ambiguities out of the system and all the people involved are clear about who they are and what they want to accomplish, to the degree that that's possible, it makes for much healthier relationships and a much more vital and energetic company. When your company doesn't fulfill your needs first and balance the customers' or employees' needs with them, everything unravels. Either the business will just fall apart or you'll wind up with this sick, codependent, very toxic environment. The company won't support your life on any level. And if it's not life supporting, why bother? There are so many other ways to make a living in this world.
