Can't confidence gained in one area carry over into another?
Some people believe it is possible to accumulate a kind of capital of confidence by stretching physical limits and conquering their fears. That capital, they believe, can then be drawn upon to meet the challenges of their business and personal lives. A full 10% of the entrepreneurs interviewed for this story have jumped from planes; another 10% either have climbed or are preparing to climb mountains. Don Preston, founder and CEO of Loss Mitigation Services, in Paris, Tex., jumped out of a plane six weeks after leaving a secure job to launch his first company, a carpet retail business. "We went out in a little Cessna, and I had to actually climb out on a wing before I jumped," says Preston, who has since sought confidence by walking on hot coals. "I'm afraid of heights, but I figured if I could sky dive, I wouldn't be scared of anything."
If you lose your confidence, how do you get it back?
Auction company CEO Deborah Weidenhamer expects to suffer occasional emotional ebbs and has something approaching a system for weathering them. She hoards successes, refusing to savor them when they happen so that in downtimes they can be pulled from her mental drawers and experienced afresh. She beefs up her mentoring and coaching of employees to remind herself of what she has to offer. And when things get really bad -- as they did five years ago -- she seeks help from friends and business associates. Hundreds of them.
On February 24, 1997, Weidenhamer mailed -- by regular post, no less -- a letter to 350 friends, relatives, customers, vendors, and other associates. "This is a hard letter for me to write, because I don't like asking for help," the message began. She went on to describe working 15 to 17 hours a day, seven days a week, at a company that was teetering on the brink of failure. "I am not able to work any more hours in the day," Weidenhamer continued. "I can't afford to hire an administrative person right now, and I can't afford to pay a salesperson anything other than commission.... I can't borrow money for the interim on my contracts, because I have put everything into the company.... I need your prayers and support. If you have any ideas, please call me or write.... "
Admitting that she needed help was "a life-changing experience," says Weidenhamer, who received more than 100 responses, including ideas that improved her operations and support that improved her morale. "I think when people see you as self-confident, they don't even bother to say anything. They think you've got it under control. They assume you don't need even a word of encouragement."
Three months later the company was back on track, and Weidenhamer knew it would be viable. "What really helped most was my customers who called and said, 'You're the best we've ever worked with," she says. "That's when I said, 'I can keep doing this. I can keep pursuing the goal."
Why is confidence like sex?
Because for both, the most important organ is the brain.
Confidence is by definition about action, but many entrepreneurs boost theirs using popular mental exercises or idiosyncratic sleights of mind. The technique most commonly mentioned was visualization. Carmichael says that detail is key to effective visualization. "You can't say, 'Oh, you'll go to the race, and it'll feel great, and you can feel yourself crossing the line and winning," he explains. "You've got to say, 'OK, there are four hills in that race. The first is only three kilometers long. It's not that hard. The average grade is about 6%. But the second hill. You know that hill. That climb is long, it's 12%, and you know after the third switchback it pitches up to 14%.' You have to get that detailed."
Other techniques are less structured and more a matter of managing perspective. Take for example, Arkady Maydanchik, founder of Arkidata Corp., an information-integration company in Downers Grove, Ill. The supremely confident Maydanchik has challenged a friend to a game of golf at Pebble Beach next August. The friend has been playing for 30 years and has a 12 handicap. Maydanchik has been playing for five months and has yet to make it off the practice range.
Maydanchik believes in his triumph on the links for the same reason he believes in Arkidata's continued success and in the success of pretty much every other endeavor he's embarked upon. That is, he is able to mentally defang the odds. "When you talk about something being a 1 to 10,000 chance, at the end of the day either it happens or it doesn't," says Maydanchik, a former researcher in probability and statistics. "And it might happen. Most people who started to play golf could not beat an experienced player in one year, so you might assign a 1 in 10,000 chance to that outcome. But every endeavor is unique. If I have the talent of Tiger Woods -- seemingly long odds, but nobody knows in advance whether or not I do -- I would argue that it is a sure bet that with significant practice and a good teacher I will beat my friend next year."
And who has the confidence to argue with that?
Leigh Buchanan is a senior editor at Inc.
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