Similarly, given the litigious nature of his business, it would have been great to know the names and phone numbers of the lawyers he had retained. His employees knew nothing about the lien. Only through extensive digging through his files and phoning around was I able to piece together the legal landscape. And then there were those two bank accounts he kept in England, where we had once lived, so that he could pay for British journals and professional fees in pounds. I only realized there were assets there when I got a letter a year after he died saying that they were about to become classified as abandoned property. "I've had estates with two dozen lawsuits and assets all over the world," says Goldfield, who recommends that his clients create a list of everything they have and where it is, and another that details the thorny issues that would need to be taken care of upon death, a list he himself makes and regularly updates.
By now you will have figured out that I am John's executrix (or female executor), responsible for overseeing the final closing down of his business and his estate. In many respects, these responsibilities were limited. While we were in Germany on his last trip, the two freelancers who remained with the business packed up everything that John hadn't directed them to throw out and moved the boxes into our basement, where they remain. One unpleasant duty I do recall was having to notify John's former staffers who were still on the firm's health insurance policy (including one who was pregnant) that I had no choice but to terminate their coverage. We negotiated a time frame that allowed them to transition to alternative plans, and they were all gracious in accepting the inevitable.
It was painful to get sucked into these complex matters immediately after John's death, when I was also trying to recover and take care of two sad and shaken children.
None of these administrative responsibilities was particularly fun, of course, but given the intimacy of my husband's small office, I'm not sure I would have felt comfortable having anyone else do it. Goldfield likes to tease me for being a control freak, and I accept his characterization. It certainly was painful to get sucked into all these complex matters immediately after John's death when I was also trying to recover and take care of two sad and shaken children. I learned after the fact that we could have established co-executors, where one person could have focused on the business and I on our personal affairs. However, our will was set up before his firm had expanded, before there were any real assets to protect. And we never seriously revisited it.
It would be a mistake for anyone to feel sorry for me. I am fortunate to have a great job, fantastic kids, a wonderful home, and many fine friends. I don't know yet how all the various surprises (including the lien) will be resolved because the legal system is so extraordinarily slow-moving, but I remain confident that we will emerge intact. And I have gained a greater appreciation of what's truly important.
My husband was, quite literally, a brilliant man. I have boxes full of letters from former clients, colleagues, and peers, all attesting to his inventiveness. As Gerry Laybourne says: "His ideas took your breath away." But the things that made him such a great entrepreneur and exciting life partner -- his optimism, his irreverence, his stubborn refusal to follow norms -- these same traits hurt him when he found himself facing a door that simply closed too fast.
Sidebar: How to Protect Yourself
When a family's personal finances are intertwined with those of a small business, the pain and disruption from the loss of a loved one can be especially trying. Herewith, some hard-earned suggestions:
Your Will
If you don't have one, get one. If you do have one, revisit who you have chosen as your executor. If you've designated your spouse, discuss whether it's realistic to think he or she will be able to take on such a big responsibility immediately after your death. If you still choose your spouse and he or she isn't familiar with the business, consider appointing a co-executor who is.
Life Insurance
Resist your natural instinct to save money and purchase an adequate life insurance policy. What's adequate? Financial planners have their own calculations, but from where I sit, it should be at least enough to cover five years of major expenses (mortgage, tuition, car payments, etc.) for those who are dependent on your income, whether they be a spouse, a child, or a parent.
Disability Insurance
It's relatively cheap and can really come in handy. But be aware that if you declare yourself fully disabled, you may be forced off your company's health insurance plan. You might end up having to purchase a more expensive individual health policy that could reduce or erase the value of the disability payment.
Retirement Savings
Don't assume that your equity in your business is a virtual pension plan. Your company may end up having little or no value when you retire, get sick, or die. Be disciplined about setting aside savings every year, and be sure to diversify your investments.
Lawsuits
Everybody has them. Give your executor a list of the cases, the attorneys you are using, and their contact information. Update the list regularly.
Financial Accounts
Don't make your executor go in search. Keep an updated list of your major assets and liabilities and where they're located, so he or she has somewhere to start.
Bank Accounts
Make sure your executor knows which bank(s) you're using and what the account numbers are.
Passwords
In an age where your most current and important information is likely to be found in a password-protected area of your computer, your executor needs to be able to gain access. Forget the safe-deposit-box key; give the executor a list of your computer, e-mail, and voice mail passwords. And importantly, update the list regularly.
