Let's Be Friends

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Given the high stakes involved in running a company, it's an understandable attitude. But Charles O'Hearn, CEO of Summit Educational Group, a tutoring firm in Boston, says moving at least some competitors off the bad-guy list has been a boon for his business. Over the past 10 years, for example, he has developed a strong friendship with Lisa Jacobson, CEO of Inspirica, a tutoring firm in New York City. Jacobson, he says, has been an invaluable sounding board for brainstorming thorny business problems and confirming his sense of business trends.

But two years ago, that friendship was put to the test when Jacobson nervously informed O'Hearn she had decided to open a second office -- in Boston, O'Hearn's home turf. O'Hearn considered his options. He could have gotten upset and ended the friendship. He could have made a countermove and opened an office in New York. Instead, he wished his friend luck. Sure, he was worried about losing business. But O'Hearn also knew that a new, smart competitor like Jacobson would only force his company to work harder. An avid basketball player and golfer, he makes the easy comparison to sports. "I like playing with people who are better than me," he says. "That makes me a tougher competitor."

It turned out that Boston has been big enough for both companies. And if O'Hearn does start to lose market share down the line? "I'd be bummed, but I'd just say, 'What do we need to do to compete?'" he says. "I could even see myself calling Lisa and asking, 'What are we doing wrong, and what are you doing right?'" The way O'Hearn sees it, it's better to have your butt whipped by a friend than an enemy. At least that way you're more likely to find out why.

Still, it's important never to forget where friendship ends and business begins. After all, not every apparently friendly rival is going to have pure intentions. There are plenty of things that O'Hearn won't share with even his closest pals in the industry; most new business initiatives, such as a new direct-mail strategy he's investing in, remain close to the vest. Everyone draws the line in a different place, but it's important to set limits and stick to them, particularly as your ties grow stronger.

Assuming your psyche is in order and your business boundaries firmly in place, there's no good reason not to pick up the phone, dial the competition, and see if you can't make yourself a new friend. That's what Marty Childs was doing when she first rang Marianne D'Eugenio at her quilt shop. As it happened, the pair developed a friendship that has paid dividends for both of their businesses. D'Eugenio, for example, prefers to work with floral fabrics, while Childs favors bright colors. Rather than stocking up in the other's area of specialty, they refer customers back and forth. "I think customers appreciate the fact that we're friendly with each other," says D'Eugenio. "When you have a friendship rather than a rivalry, it makes your life a lot easier." Indeed, when yet another quilt shop recently opened in the area, D'Eugenio didn't hesitate. She picked up the phone and gave the owner a call. Sure, it was a new competitor -- but perhaps it was a new friend, too.

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