April 1

It All Adds Up
April is Mathematics Awareness Month. President Bush has pledged $136 billion over ten years for math and science programs, a move applauded by entrepreneurs, who've long complained that the U.S. was losing its edge in these vital fields. Our humble proposal: a bigger, better, sweetly dorky national mathematics bee.

April 4

The Lowdown
Tear open a packet of Sweet'N Low, and tear into the new book Sweet and Low (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, $25), which hits stores today. Comedian Rich Cohen tells the story of his grandfather, Ben Eisenstadt, a short-order cook who started Sweet'N Low in his Brooklyn cafeteria in 1957. The book chronicles how his fortune sparked an Eisenstadt family feud. (Cohen's been disinherited.)

April 14

A Well-Heeled Comedy
Check out Kinky Boots, an indie film from England making its U.S. debut in selected theaters today. Charlie Price is trying to save his family's struggling shoe factory. Hope appears in the form of Lola, a good-hearted transvestite (Is there any other kind? Ba dum bum!) who helps Price turn around the company.

April 17

At Least It's Not Death
April 15 is a Saturday this year, so personal income taxes are due today…

April 18

Go Pats!
…unless you live in New York, Massachusetts, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, Vermont, or Washington, D.C. You get an extra day thanks to the observance of Patriot's Day at the regional IRS office.