Living on Planet Pleasant

There have been times I've been accused of being overly optimistic, but I've never been told that I live on another planet! This weekend I had a fun conversation with one of my coffee shop buddies and it was filled with some little gems that I wanted to share with you.

It was first thing Sunday morning and Larry was reading the newspaper. Of course, it was filled with distressing news and a particularly gloomy weather outlook. As Larry condemned Mother Nature for her selfish outburst and wondered why he was faced with so much negative news first thing in the morning, his energy shifted and signs of stress became apparent. His leg began to bounce, his eyes grew tired looking, and his movements became increasingly animated. I continued to enjoy my coffee, along with a good book. Simple. Sweet. Uncomplicated. Ahhh.

Intrigued by Larry's agitation, I turned my attention away from the novel and asked why snow in Chicago during the month of February was such a bad thing and why he chooses to read stories about things that upset him so much — especially first thing in the morning? Larry's unexpected response was, "Not everyone lives on Planet Pleasant like you do!" Ouch!

But you know what? I like Planet Pleasant. Of course there are things in life that get me down and concern me from time to time. When they do, I feel the impact that they have on my body, mind, productivity level, mood, and overall level of happiness. So why would I choose to worry about the weather and other things that are totally out of my control? But from Larry's perspective I wasn't being a concerned citizen and in touch with what really matters. It was quite an interesting conversation!

Two different people, two different viewpoints, two different response mechanisms. I find the contrasting perspectives fascinating. For me, it's a part of what makes the world such an exciting place; people's ideas, opinions, insights -and even fears - run the full spectrum and I love it! But what was most satisfying is that Larry and I made room for one another's viewpoints and feelings. There was no argument, no judgment -just observation and laughter. We were two strong-minded individuals thinking in two completely opposite languages, yet allowing space for, and honoring, our differences. It felt good.

My Sunday morning experience was a nice reminder that, no matter what planet we live on, it feels good to take the time to listen to what our friends, clients, and family members are saying-no matter what language they speak. To make room for different personality types and understand what makes them tick, instead of trying to change them.

Hello. My name is Marla Tabaka and I live on Planet Pleasant. From what planet do you hail?

Is Your Client Costing You Money?

We've all done it...hung on to the client who makes unreasonable demands on our time and resources. We may hang on out of the fear of letting go of the revenue, or we may believe that the impossible client is going to change, so why not wait it out?

This is the client who often pays late or argues about the amount of the invoice. This client calls or emails more frequently than the rest and demands that you have an answer for him on the spot. She expects last minute changes and somehow has a direct line of communication to your stomach because it's always tied in knots when her number shows up on caller ID. This is the client who pays the least but expects as much, or more, than your top-paying clients. And just when you think you've had enough and it's time to do something about it, this client's radar goes off and he says something really nice and tells you how much he appreciates you!

As a solopreneur it feels really scary to even think about letting go of that $500 a month (or whatever this client represents to you financially). On the other hand, our reaction to this bullying client is often strong enough to result in self-doubt, physical discomfort, frustration, and diminished belief in our ability, service or product. So let's look at what this client will cost in the long run, as well as some possible solutions.

There really is no way to put a dollar amount on the physical and emotional pain resulting from your encounters with the bully-client. But it is important to pay attention to that. If you are upset or distracted after a conversation with Mr. or Ms. Bully, how does it effect your attention span, mood, and productivity? Do you shake it off, stuffing your feelings so that they can manifest themselves in an ulcer at some later date? Or do you address the problem and go for a run or take some calming meditation time? At the very least, we want to make sure that we are discharging our negative emotions in a positive way so that our body and mind stay healthy. But it's best to find a way to take care of the bully client situation once and for all.

If you spend, say 4 hours a week, conversing with this client, but a comparable account takes only an hour a week, that additional 3-hours represents a cost of service that is not showing up on the books. Don't diminish the value of your time. It may be time to have a conversation with the problem client and honestly reveal the problem at hand. Too often we start out trying to please a client, giving more than our charges merit, and it sets the bar for our service to this client. We must take responsibility for our part in this mess! Schedule a call or a meeting to "apologize" for the miscommunication and to discuss higher billing or lower demands on your time. Explain that what has become status quo is no longer possible and open the conversation up to redefining your services and the cost associated with them. You may be surprised at your client's reaction to your willingness to shoulder the responsibility and to the fact that you are treating your business like a business.

Once you have redefined the relationship, you may have to gently remind the client of the new rules from time to time. Change is change, and not everyone takes to it immediately. This person is also accustomed to pushing the envelope and will most likely test your limits. Be diplomatic about it, offering solutions resulting in billing for the extra time or setting one brief meeting a week to address his or her concerns instead of the frequent, time consuming phone calls and emails.

Of course, not everyone is going to understand or agree with your new rules. If that is the case, try tracking your time with this client. Write it down on paper and pay attention to what you're actually giving this client. At the end of the week or month calculate the time and resources and put a price on your services. Now subtract the actual invoice amount. What has this client cost you? Also look at the number of hours you've put in on this account. If you could have those hours back and you were to devote them to some form of marketing, how quickly could you replace the lost revenue if you were to "fire" this client? Even an additional 2 hours a week dedicated to marketing will most likely lead to at least one more client. If you don't believe that, then think about upselling some of your other clients. If you were to offer your existing clients an upgraded service or additional product, how would that impact the bottom line? How many hours do you need to implement a plan like this? Also a good way to utilize the extra time.

Do you have a bully client? Or have you resolved such a situation in the past? Tell us about it here on The Solopreneur's Million Dollar Mi

The DBA Success Formula

Donna Amos is a fellow coach who has supported small business owners for 22 years. She is also the founder of the fabulous solopreneur's resource, The International Association of Solopreneurs.
I asked Donna to be my guest blogger today and, wow! What a wealth of information she is. I hope you enjoy Donna's insights as much as I do! Donna demonstrates the ideal model of the Million-Dollar-Mindset in her DBA Formula for success.

The DBA Formula is simple:
'¢ Decide you will never give up
'¢ Believe you will achieve your dreams and then take
'¢ Action.

Achieving goals can be seen as a compound process. You set goals with your conscious mind but you achieve them with your subconscious mind or that part of yourself that exists below the surface of your waking life.

One of the biggest obstacles a solopreneur faces is whether she truly
believes she can achieve her goals. In other words, if your belief in yourself (at the core
subconscious level) is not equally as strong as your decision and passion, it is unlikely that you will ever hit your goals.

How do you go about fostering belief in yourself?

Use tools such as affirmations, future letters and dream boards to send the right message to your subconscious mind and begin to change your non-supporting habits. The Law of Attraction shows you how to plant your seeds and allow them to germinate. But your work is not done; you must then embrace the Law of Action. Sitting on your butt and waiting for your dreams to fall into your lap can result in a trip to the poor house. Consider the situation in terms of a gardening metaphor: once you plant the seeds, their future growth depends on your ability and commitment to nurture the plants with water, sunlight, fertilizer and regular weeding. Your business requires the same kind of nurturing care. You must take action. It doesn't have to be perfect; you will adjust as you get feedback. Without action, however, you will not move forward. Just like without the proper conditions and care, plants will wither and die.

A committed decision is one of the three foundational pillars upon which your successful business is built. The first step in building a successful business is to make a decision to do so. Many small business owners jump into business and focus immediately on how to get clients, how to make money, and how to market. These are important elements but the first step to a successful business of making a conscious decision to do so has been left out of the process. Think about that for a moment. In many cases small business owners actually have said to themselves, if this doesn't work then I will.... plan B. Their decision to achieve that success seems less than whole-hearted. They're already thinking about a fallback position.

Success begins with that committed decision — a promise to yourself -- that you will do whatever it takes to achieve your dreams.

A committed decision is only the first step and requires a mindset with an unshakable belief that you have what it takes. Believing in yourself, your skills and resources are critical to your success. Your belief in yourself will determine your self-confidence. Your self-confidence determines your ability to take the necessary action for success. If you don't believe you can achieve it, you've set yourself on the path of a self-fulfilling prophecy. You will sabotage yourself to ensure that in fact you do not succeed.

"There is a difference between WISHING for a thing and being READY to receive it. No one is ready for a thing, until he believes he can acquire it. The state of mind must be BELIEF, not mere hope or wish. Open-mindedness is essential for belief. Closed minds do not inspire faith, courage, and belief." Napolean Hill

The Importance of Belief

Now that you have made a committed decision, the next step is to build your belief that you can achieve what you want in your business and life. The very fact that you can conceive of something in your mind and believe that you can do it means that you can.

That is powerful! If you find yourself saying, I am committed and I think I can do this but I am not experiencing the success I anticipated, it is likely that you have a disconnect.

The disconnect comes into play like this. Think of your belief in yourself and your abilities as if they are the size of golf ball; everything you believe about your skills, ability and worthiness fits into that golf ball.

Now think about your goals. Imagine that you have big goals -- so big they fill up an exercise ball. Do you see the disconnect? If your belief in your ability to reach your goals is the size of a golf ball, there is no way you can achieve goals that are as large as an exercise ball. No matter how close you get you will find a way to sabotage yourself because you don't truly believe you can reach those goals. You will be stuck in the mindset that the size of your ability is not adequate for achieving the big goals that you're after. That lack of belief will prevent you from taking big action necessary for success, which is the final step in the DBA formula.

If you have never read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, I encourage you to do so. The premise of the book is simple yet powerful: if you can conceive something in your mind and believe it to be true, then you can achieve it. Hill makes the case that it is scientifically impossible to create something in your mind, to believe that you can do it and then not be able to do so.

The power of your mind is truly amazing. The more you believe in yourself and your abilities, the more likely you are to accomplish your goals and reach your dreams.

To change your physical world, you first need to change your mental one. Your life is the exact outward expression of your beliefs, thought patterns and visualizations. Take control of your thoughts right now. Using exercises like visualization will help you to expand your beliefs. This requires some honest work. Examine what your beliefs about your abilities and skills are, and you may begin to understand what is holding you back. Pay attention to your thought patterns,. Identify which ones are getting in your way. Determine where you need to strengthen your beliefs and then practice visualizing yourself doing exactly what you must believe to successfully move forward.

Action is the final step to the DBA Formula.

To take action means we must be motivated. That motivation is ignited by our decision and belief around that decision. Motivation is important because it affects our lives everyday. All of our behaviors, actions, thoughts, and beliefs are influenced by our inner drive to succeed. You have the ability to increase that drive through visualization.

You have made good decisions, you believe you can accomplish that decision, and now you must follow through with action. Without action, a good decision becomes meaningless, for the desire itself can die through lack of an attempt to achieve its fulfillment. That's why you should act immediately on a good decision. Decisions without actions are worthless. Just think of the gardening metaphor. Deciding that plants need water is a good decision, yet it has no value to the plant if the action required is not carried out.

Donna Amos, Solopreneurs Solutions, LLC is the president of the International Association of Solopreneurs.