Today I received an email from someone inquiring about life coaching. Apparently, life has thrown her some curve balls and she asks, “Why is it that difficult circumstances always seem to come along and force change in our lives?” My answer, “Because change is long overdue.”
We naturally resist change, even when our current circumstances are less than ideal. Fear is the great and powerful obstacle here. Fear of the unknown; of losing something or someone important to us; of things not working out the way we envision; fear of failure – or success. These are all common barriers to change. But when does the pain of living an unsatisfactory life begin to outweigh all of that fear? And how do we tip the scales on this burdensome fear?
When we are dissatisfied with something in life, we tend to focus on the negative instead of what we most desire. You’ll notice that when this cycle of negativity is in place it breeds and attracts more negativity. “Good” things seem to be far and few between. This is simply a law of energy and nature. It is, in fact, nature’s way of pushing us closer and closer to a necessary change. Sometimes we get the hint; sometimes we choose to remain in the endless cycle of suffering.
Have you been focusing your attention on the negative for longer than you’d like to admit? For some that might be a few weeks, for others – years. Is it time to make a critical change in your personal or business life; time to tip the scales on your fear?
I once coached an amazing woman who owned a niche retail store in a tourist town. She worked twelve or more hours a day, had a second mortgage on her home and struggled to pay her employees on time. This cycle went on for years, until she came into coaching and learned that she had the power to change her circumstances. She could consider closing her store and take a different path toward what she really wanted. She learned that she could accept change more easily by recognizing the freedom and good that could come into her life, rather than the negative. She closed her store. But she turned her focus toward becoming a recognized expert in her much-loved industry niche. She is now having the time of her life as a consultant and trade association board member - without the excessive workload and financial stress.
Consider and address your fear of change by discussing it with someone who is not directly impacted by your situation. Tip the scales on your fear by realizing that it is simply your perception of what “could” happen. You have the power to create a positive change by finding the good in every possible outcome and believing in your ability to adapt and thrive. What you perceive as negative may not, in actuality, be all that negative if you take the time to examine the reality and allow for a better possible result.
Do female entrepreneurs think big enough? Do we possess a natural disposition that keeps us from growing a small business into a booming success? Unravel the mystery with me as I interview former and founding executive director of the Center for Women’s Business Research, Dr. Hadary on The Million Dollar Mindset.
Marla Tabaka is a small-business advisor who helps entrepreneurs around the globe grow their businesses well into the millions. She has over 25 years of experience in corporate and start-up ventures and speaks widely on combining strategic and creative thinking for optimum success and happiness.