Okay, I'm kidding. Nobody deserves that BMW 5 series more than you. Honest. But two news items today suggests that perhaps you are unwittingly the cause of road rage across America.

Item No. 1: Staples, the office-supply retailer, released a survey of small-business owners that found that "the car remains a favorite place to work, with 72 percent saying they make business calls while driving and nearly 40 percent saying they get their best ideas behind the wheel." (To check out the survey, click here.)

Item No. 2: Drivers who talk on their cellphones create traffic jams, according to a new study as reported by a blog on the New York Times website. "Motorists talking on the phone drive about two miles per hour more slowly than people who aren't on the phone, according to a new study by researchers at the University of Utah. And while hands-free devices often are touted as safer alternatives, the scientists found that people using them also putter along, which suggests that it's the talking, not the cellphone, that distracts the brain." The researchers went on to suggest that the sheer volume of drivers using their cellphones probably elongates the average commute by between 5 and 20 percent. Distracted drivers are also more likely to get into traffic accidents according to previous studies. (To read the blog, click here.)

Conclusion: Maybe it's time to hire a driver?