Martha: Alone with Her Thoughts

The U.S. economy got great news today: Martha Stewart received a sentence of five months in prison and five months home confinement. This is going spark a flurry of entrepreneurial activity. I expect Martha to come up with at least ten new businesses while out of the public spotlight. One for each month.

Like her or hate her, you have to admit that the Domestic Diva is a helluva entrepreneur and businesswoman. She juggled a television show, a magazine, and a home goods line and still found time to make her own investment decisions. Imagine what she can do with some time to herself.

Here are ten businesses Martha should consider, divided between Hard Time Martha and House Arrest Martha:

Hard Time Martha:

Free Martha, Inc. - You've seen the t-shirts and bought the mug: Free Mumia. Free Winona. A plain black t-shirt with a white stenciled image ain't gonna cut it for the queen. Let Martha handle it with the tastefulness and tact that got her where she is today.

Escape, Inc. - Tutoring fellow inmates on breaking out of the cellblock has to be worth a few packs of smokes. Digging through a wall is like digging in a garden. There's no doubt that Martha could make the finest rope ladder out of bed sheets that you've ever seen. And who could bake a better pick-and-file cake? No one. That's who.

Conjugal Visits, Inc. - Let her turn the trailer into a real love nest for the jailbirds and their pigeons.

Club Fed, Inc. - Who else would you put in charge of the day spa?

Memoirs, Inc. - The book is coming. You know it. I know it.

House Arrest Martha:

Cellblock Renovations, Inc. - Just back from a 15 year stay in prison? Can't get used to sleeping in that king-sized bed? Let Martha design your home to give you what you yearn for, right down to the communal showers and dull-bladed dinner knives.

Courthouse Attire, Inc. - You're going to wear that to the hearing? Let Martha dress you for the big day. She endured months of Women's Wear Daily reporters stalking her around the courthouse. She set the standard for courthouse chic.

Ankle Charms, Inc. - Gotta make that ankle monitor work with open-toed shoes and capris.

Day-trader - Martha has great sources.

Tour Guide - Martha's famed Turkey Hill Road home will be open for business. Feel free to get there early: She's up by 4.