What would happen if job candidates treated you the way you treat them? You might be receiving letters such as this one?
Dear Hiring Manager,
Thank you so much for your interest in me for the position of Senior Technical Analyst for your company. Before we commence with the interview, you will need to do the following:
1. Fill out the application, You'll find it at my website under the "potential employers tab." It's critical that you fill out all the fields, including your personal job history as well as the company's history. Pay special attention to the government investigations tab. If you've ever lost a lawsuit or settled one, I need you to list the details.
2. Complete criminal background. Before I decide if I can work for you, I need to know what my potential coworkers have been up to. Please fill out the form and list all felony convictions. Please make special note, if I will be driving with anyone in the firm, I'll need to see their driver's history. This can be obtained by contacting your local Department of Motor Vehicles. (DMV)
3. Credit rating. I'll need the social security number and a signed release for a credit check for the following people: direct supervisor, HR personnel with access to employee information including social security numbers and addresses, payroll, and all senior managers. It's important that I work in a stable company that is able to provide a regular paycheck. This will help ensure that no one embezzles, thus preventing me from receiving my regular paycheck.
4. Personality profiles. I'll need my potential manager and peers within the department to fill out this personality test and provide me with the results. Please note, there are no "wrong" answers here. I just want to make sure I'm a good fit for the department.
5. References. I'll need the names and phone numbers of three former direct reports. I'd like to speak to your current direct reports as well, but understand if you don't want to let them know you're hiring. Please let me know.
6. Follow up interviews. If everything goes well with the first round of interviews, I'd like to have you meet with my mentor as well as three current friends of mine so that I can get an outside opinion on you.
7. Salary history. Before proceeding with the interview process, I'll need to know the salary range for this position as well as the company's history and policies regarding raises and promotions, including promotions in place. Please note specifically if any policies exist limiting the percent for a salary increase.
8. Social media accounts. Can you please provide me with links to the Facebook, Vine, Twitter, Instagram and any other social media accounts used by the hiring manager and potential coworkers? I need to make sure none of you do anything off the clock that could potentially embarrass me.
Thanks so much for your interest in my candidacy for your Senior Technical Analyst. As soon as I get the above information from you, we can set up a time for an interview.