I may have something shocking to tell you:

You don't need to give introverts a guide to life. You don't need to tell them how to clean their homes, how to survive a networking event, or how to travel, or how to exercise.

Introverts, you see, understand what it is to be an introvert. It sometimes feels like, reading all these posts and articles and books (OK, I lied, I don't read them), perhaps it's extroverts who need explainers on these things. I'm happy to oblige.

An extrovert's guide to exercise: Whatever the latest exercise trend is, DO IT. Do it loud. Do it energetically. Spinning. Zumba. Crossfit. What are the kids doing these days? Pound (I had to Google that)? Self-limiting movement (what?)? Do it loud and do it proud. Take photos. Livestream it. You don't lose the calories unless the world knows.

An extrovert's guide to cleaning your apartment: Go to the store. Buy cleaning supplies. Complain about it on Twitter. Set up a Splash invite to trick your friends into coming to your house and helping you. Don't forget the beer.

An extrovert's guide to networking: Arrive late, with an entourage. Loudly tell people how you don't use business cards, but what's their Twitter account? Stand in front of the bar and talk loudly about that killer deal you just totally closed. Ask people if they are on Periscope and if they say no, gasp like you're shocked. I mean, you probably are kinda shocked anyway.

An extrovert's guide to travel: Don't forget the selfie stick. Ask strangers to be in your selfie with you. No, please be in the photo, I don't need you to take my picture. That's what this stick is for. No, really, IN the photo. Hey, wait! Where are you going?! COME BACK WITH MY PHONE/CAMERA.

You're welcome.

Yes. This is ridiculous. That's kinda the point.

 

Published on: Sep 22, 2015
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.