Every moment you come into contact with anyone, you are influencing them. How you act, what you say, how you say it and all the non-verbal cues your body throws off determine what impressions you leave on the person you're interacting with and how they respond to you.
I first learned that I was an influencer at the ripe old age of 12 years old when my parents got divorced and I suddenly felt like I had to step up and be the man of the house. Looking back, I realize how silly that sounds, but at the time I was extremely motivated to be successful and that's when I started my journey into entrepreneurialism. Last Saturday, I shared my story at iSugar and explained to everyone in the audience why they were already an influencer and how to become an even more powerful one:
Why Influence Is So Important
Every day you are influencing and being influenced by those with whom you surround yourself. Your friends, family, colleagues, employees, clients and partners all make up an ecosystem where you play a vital role. Often you're not even aware of just how much you influence those around you. My leadership team at Trepoint often remind me to watch what I say as my words as CEO have a big impact and can send a ripple throughout the rest of the company.
And I am keenly aware of how my words and actions impact my kids, my wife and my friends at home. A small conflict and lead to a heated argument if you're not hyper aware of both the needs of those around you and what influence you are exerting in that moment.
That's why influence is so important. Every action you take, every word you say and even the body language you unconsciously use is telling those around you how you feel and what you want. Often, if aren't living in a beautiful state, you're negatively influencing people in ways you don't intent.
Mastering Influence To Drive Your Business
To master influence, you need to start by mastering your own emotional state. People buy from those they know, like and trust. When you come into contact with anyone, your emotional state is the first thing that people notice. Are you happy, upbeat and personable? Or are you serious, frustrated and pensive? Your body language says as much about you as any words that come from your mouth.
What's more, if you really want to influence the person you're engaging with, you not only have to manage your own state, but you have to manage theirs as well. This is the number one secret from the world's top salespeople: Rapport is more important than "the close". If you want to drive your business, then start by managing your own state and then work to manage the state of the customer you're engaging with. When you can have them loosen up, laugh with you, tell you what's really on their mind and share their pain - that's when you're empowered to add real value to their lives.
Mastering influence begins with you. First, you need to understand that you are an influencer in the first place; that what you say and do matters quite a lot. Then, you need to understand what tools you have available to you in order to master influence. A great place to start is by Using the 6 Clinically Proven Principles of Persuasion.
I'll be sharing a lot more on this topic, but nothing is more important than managing your own state and then working toward managing the state of the person with whom you are engaging. That's what builds rapport and ultimately the opportunity to drive growth for yourself and your business.