As the great bard Billy Squier once sang, "Christmas is a time say I love you." And, whether you celebrate the holiday or are just enjoying 24 hours during which basically everything in America is closed, here's hoping you have a wonderful day.
In case you need a little last-minute inspiration, here are 21 of the best Christmas quotes -- some heartwarming, some humorous, some profound -- to get you in the spirit.
1. "Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"
- Charles Dickens, A Christmas Story
2. "Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?"
- Matt Groening
3. "It was the beginning of the greatest Christmas ever. Little food. No presents. But there was a snowman in their basement."
― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
4. "One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."
- Andy Rooney
5. "'Elf' has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New York in tights saying, 'This could be the last movie I ever make.' I could never have predicted that it'd become such a popular film."
- Will Ferrell
6. "I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending."
- Fred Rogers
7. "I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping."
- Steven Wright
8. "One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."
- Professor Dumbledore (J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)
9. "Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home."
― G.K. Chesterton
10. "Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
- Dave Barry
11. "Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket."
― Craig Ferguson
12. "This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? ... [A]ctually, I've got the same questions about God."
― Bill Watterson (Calvin & Hobbes)
13. "Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year."
- Victor Borge
14. "Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart."
15. "A good conscience is a continual Christmas."
16. "It is a fine seasoning for joy to think of those we love."
17. "Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas."
- Kin Hubbard
18. "To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind."
― Calvin Coolidge, Presidential message, December 25, 1927
19. "For it is in giving that we receive."
- Francis of Assisi
20. "Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they're worth the price of a stamp."
- Melanie White
21. "Money's scarce
Times are hard
Here's your [f------]
― Phyllis Diller
Bonus: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho."
- Die Hard (best Christmas movie of all time)