I'm working on a plan this year to start every single day with an inspiring, poignant or witty quote.
So far, so good. For February--in advance of Valentine's Day--the theme is love.
With that, here are 29 great quotes for February (leap year, remember?)--with a special emphasis on quotes that talk about love with a sense of humor.
I think my favorites are February 10 and February 24. What are yours?
Monday, February 1:
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
-- Dr. Seuss
Tuesday, February 2:
"I think I love you, and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot."
-- Hugh Grant, Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Wednesday, February 3:
"Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers."
-- Richard Pryor
Thursday, February 4
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."
-- Audrey Hepburn
Friday, February 5
"In love, one and one are one."
-- Jean Paul Sartre
Saturday, February 6
"A happy house is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it."
-- Don Fraser
Sunday, February 7
"I married a woman who loves to camp ... and I am what you would call indoorsy."
-- Jim Gaffigan
Monday, February 8
"True love is singing Karaoke 'Under Pressure' and letting the other person sing the Freddy Mercury part."
-- Mindy Kaling
Tuesday, February 9
"Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it."
-- George Carlin
Wednesday, February 10
"My perfect date night: I pick you up. In my Kia Sorrento. You get in. There's candles in the car. You go 'Is that dangerous?" and I go, 'Yes... but I like danger.'
We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my car's on fire. You go, 'Aziz, your car's on fire. Aren't you upset?'
I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, 'No. I knew this was gonna happen.' And then I kiss you. In front of my burning car."
-- Aziz Ansari
Thursday, February 11
"I was talking to one of these friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, 'But I want Dave. I want option A.' He put his arm around me and said, 'Option A is not available. So let's just kick the shit out of option B.'"
-- Sheryl Sandberg
Friday, February 12
"The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you."
-- Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
Saturday, February 13
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
-- actor Ryan O'Neal, in the last line of the 1970 movie, Love Story. The quote became a popular catchphrase.
Sunday, February 14 (Valentine's Day):
"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."
-- Ryan O'Neal, in the 1972 movie, What's Up, Doc?, satirizing Love Story.
Monday, February 15 (President's Day):
"Republicans fell in love with this thing, and now they can't stop talking about how much they hate it. It's like we're trapped in a Taylor Swift album."
-- President Obama, joking about the budget program known as the sequester at the 2013 White House Correspondents Dinner.
Tuesday, February 16
"Love is a friendship set to music."
-- Joseph Campbell
Wednesday, February 17
"After seven years of marriage, I'm sure of two things -- first, never wallpaper together, and second, you'll need two bathrooms.. both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in."
-- Dennis Miller
Thursday, February 18
"Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family."
-- Chelsea Handler
Friday, February 19
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings."
-- David Sedaris
Saturday, February 20
"It's a very dangerous state. You are inclined to recklessness and kind of tune out the rest of your life and everything that's been important to you. It's actually not all that pleasurable. I don't know who the hell wants to get in a situation where you can't bear an hour without somebody's company."
-- Colin Firth
Sunday, February 21
"Women love a self-confident bald man."
-- Larry David
Monday, February 22
"If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is - they don't love you back."
-- Chelsea Peretti
Tuesday, February 23
"Love thy neighbor -- and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier." -- Mae West
Wednesday, February 24
"Just last week I wrote: 'I still love you. See last year's card for full details.'"
-- Michael McIntyre
Thursday, February 25
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
-- Richard Jeni
Friday, February 26
"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me."
-- Garry Shandling
Saturday, February 27
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."
-- Will Ferrell
Sunday, February 28
"There's no substitute for a great love who says, 'No matter what's wrong with you, you're welcome at this table.'"
-- Tom Hanks
Monday, February 29
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough."
-- Russell Brand