Power is a tricky thing. At once it's both invisible, and v-e-r-y real. When we meet a powerful person we know it. Like the time former President Bill Clinton walked into my local Starbucks. I stopped in my tracks. The gravity of his influence was evident. But why?
Power is perception.
For example: If you appear on national television you may seem powerful to those who have never done so. But if you're looking to influence a media mogul, that appearance won't hold much weight. Zero power. Similarly, to some, pseudo-celebrities who appear in tabloids are powerful. To others these people are goofballs.
Power is relative.
When I was trying to define power, I defined consistent traits I saw in those I viewed as powerful.
Helpful, but still flawed. If I see someone with purpose and vision. I can say they're powerful in my mind. To another, this power is not absolute. Some would argue that Hitler was powerful. I get it. Did he have character, integrity? Hardly.
The most powerful person I knew was my Grandfather. He would sit in a crowded and very loud room, and slowly the entire room would silence, just to hear him speak.
Which led me to my conclusion:
The only absolute way to be the most powerful person in the room is this:
Rid yourself of the need to be the most powerful person in the room.
The lack of need for affirmation allows you freedom. When you are free nobody can control you. When nobody can have power over you, you are the most powerful.