Back in 2008, I saw Gary Vaynerchuk speak at the Web 2.0 conference. He made a huge impression on me. I sent him a (much too long) email asking for a meeting. He was gracious enough to take a random meeting with me.
He stumped me. I hadn't ever thought about passion. I had always followed the almighty dollar. I thought for a moment and answered that I was passionate about being a Father. He said, "go do that."
So I went home and learned how to launch a website. I bought editing software. I hired a designer and launched my new venture. I named it "DadzillaTV." I vlogged every day reviewing products that I was using for my infant daughter. I gained a decent audience.
I loved every second of it. It also terrified me. But I didn't care. In hindsight, I think getting the support from someone I admired (Gary) helped me push through the fear. But then, something changed.
I began obsessing over the people who might see it. And those people that may wonder why I wasn't in an office, wearing a suit and tie. They would laugh at me. They would ...My monkey brain would go on, and on.
A few months after I began the venture, I stopped vlogging altogether, and let the business die. I listened to other's opinions. I allowed them to tell me what I wanted.
"Chris, get a steady job instead of doing social media." I thought I was on the right path. I wasn't.
Recently I've begun examining some things that have been limiting me in my life. Fear is a big one. I knew I wanted to create a vlog. But I also knew that I had a fear of creating one. I hemmed and hawed and created "reasons" why I wasn't doing it.
- I told myself I was too busy. Yet, somehow I had time to watch Game of Thrones.
- I told myself I was too old. Yet, somehow I enjoyed watching VLOG's of my peers.
- I told myself I wasn't skilled enough to be a creator, yet somehow I created an audience back in 2008.
I realized that my self-doubt and fear were indicators. True north indicators that I've been ignoring for years.
So today I launched my first VLOG since 2008. It's raw, and silly, and not perfect. I have no objective other than to have fun creating them. I should add, that I love creating them. If there is a word stronger than love that would be what I feel about this creative process.
The best part is that since I'm a bit older and more comfortable in my own skin, I don't care what anyone thinks about them. I'm buzzing from the process of creation. Finally. I guess I'm a slow learner.
Last night my daughters sat on my lap and watched the VLOG with me. They squealed with joy when they saw themselves, they laughed when I was being funny. They loved every second of it. And at that moment, I didn't have an ounce of fear.
I learned a lesson:
The only way to obliterate fear in your life is by diving into what scares you.
If you feel resistance or fear about creating something you must do it. If you weren't scared and didn't feel resistance you don't care about it. If you feel scared, and you're terrified, this is what you need to dive into.
If fear has left you frozen. That's good. It's telling you where you need to go, what you need to create, and where your true north is. Go and create. NOW.