It's Monday evening and you are lying awake in bed fretting over a very important meeting tomorrow with a future investor/customer/partner/new hire. Your venture is just getting off the ground and landing this deal could make or break you. So, you lie there in bed thinking about all of the different ways you will pitch tomorrow then craft the perfect wording that will win the deal. If only perfect words were all you needed.

A few weeks back I wrote about the fear factor and how it influences everything. I know that if we let fear become a significant part of our psyche that it then oozes out of our pores like too much garlic. Then others sense it. Then they judge us on the fear and not the words.

One of the ways I cope is to develop a trusted support system that can re-orient me away from a fear-based place to a positive, "I own this" position. A good friend and I used a call and response trick where he would ask me, "Who's the King?" My answer: "I am the King!" This trick helped me relax and concentrate on my strengths. I would call him on the way to the meeting.

But what if that is not enough? That trick only lasts 15 seconds, maybe more if we do it a few times. What other options are there for creating that "I own this, I am the King" mentality?

I have another trick that I want to share that lasts a little longer.

To be the King, you have to believe you're the King inside and out. On the outside, your clothes certainly define you and send a message to your meeting mate. I do not do suits and ties well at all. These make me feel uncomfortable and feel like I am trying to be someone I am not. I feel most comfortable in jeans or slacks and a nice button-down shirt. Depending on the meeting, I might wear a classy t-shirt. My reasoning is that if I feel good--the best of me will come out and that is what I am selling.

This dress decision is what I do to bring me back to a comfort level that is the starting point for creating a King mentality. But I have another trick--my King's underwear. Yes, you heard that right. I have a pair of black underwear that somehow in my mind make me feel like I am a bad-ass. So, when dressing for important meetings, I reach for the bad-ass inspiring underwear. Of course no body knows this but me, which is perfect for the mental trick I am playing on myself.

Got a favorite pair of shoes? How about a lucky-coat? Or even a pair of bad-ass socks. Don't be afraid to live your inner King inside and out.

Published on: Nov 6, 2014