Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
So I spend my days scouring the earth to find things that I know will be helpful to you, so that you don't think you're being offered a cheap trick.
Today's topic is how to make your bosses believe that you are the one person they can't live without.
Or, at least, work without.
I've fallen upon advice from recruiters as reported by the Daily Mail.
I'm sure you will find these suggestions invaluable. Otherwise, the people who made the suggestions aren't valuable at all.
Which could, of course, be the case.
Still, these are their suggestions with, as usual, the occasional comment from me as I sit in the balcony and watch the show.
1. Be the Expert on Something.
This seems fairly obvious, doesn't it? If you can do what no one else can--or if, at least, you know more about something than anyone else--you will be turned to as a so-called guru. The slight problem with this is that experts can sometimes end up like soap opera actors. You can get easily typecast as the wealthy drunk at the bar whose wife has left him for a thrice-married girlfriend. Suddenly, that's all you ever are.
2. Make Yourself Known Throughout the Company.
This expert suggests networking till you can do it no more. Oh, you've seen these people. They're the ones who methodically wander about the place making friends with everyone and trying to become unforgettable. Sometimes, though, people see through this act and get bored of it. If you're going to do this, be genuine. Hard to manage, I know. Probably impossible.
3. Make The Company (More) Money.
Suggest a new initiative that will increase the bottom line. Yes, it might get several of your co-workers fired. But you don't really care about them. You're about you, your personal habits, and the bank account that's supposed to finance them. Sadly, I've seen this not work as well as might be expected. I've seen people create wonderful initiatives, make the company money, and still get fired themselves because, well, they just weren't one of the in-people.
4. Be Enthusiastic.
Oh, no. This one again. This expert explains that enthusiasm for your job allows you to be more courageous. Is that necessarily true? Sometimes, enthusiastic people so love their jobs that they don't see the reorganization coming. They don't see that others have manipulated themselves into indispensable positions while they, the enthusiastic ones, are regarded as expendable.
5. Be Constantly Vigilant.
Now this makes more sense. "Continually develop your skills, stay on top of your role, and stay connected to those around you," suggests one fine expert who talked to the Mail. Well, yes. But it's surely less important to stay connected to those around you and more important to stay connected to those who wield decisions. They can be quite brutal, self-serving types. Fickle, too.
6. Hold Your Head Up.
This apparently means that physically, mentally, and emotionally you must never let your head drop. Which might be awkward if you're ducking under a barrier on a construction site. This fine expert, though, insists that: "When you enter your managers' office, keep your head up, when you walk in at the beginning of the day and leave at the end of a day, head up." This might, indeed, make a good impression. It might also make some people think you're a little stiff.