Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
I suspect that part of the reason people make jokes about millennials is that they're likely to be the last generation to reach middle age.
The world is, after all, teetering on the brink of calamity and do you know anyone who can stop it? I don't.
Sometimes, though, jokes about millennials can get a little old. But perhaps not in Alabama.
May I present the elegantly-named Montgomery Biscuits, the Double-A affiliate of the Tampa Bay Rays.
The people in the Biscuits' marketing department seem like little rays of sunshine. For they had an inspiration to attract millennials to its July 21st game against the Hackensack Wheat Crackers. (I may not have got this team's name quite right.)
The marketeers created a promotion that was singularly dedicated to the young, restless and deeply concerned.
It's called Millennial Night.
You might think that millennials, knowing they have a night all to themselves, will flock to the Biscuit Tin. Which is surely the name of the home team's ballpark.
Instead, the Biscuits decided to be, well, disruptive.
Here's the text of a promotional tweet:
Want free things without doing much work? Well you're in luck! Riverwalk Stadium will be Millennial friendly on Saturday, July 21st with a participation ribbon giveaway just for showing up, napping and selfie stations, along with lots of avocados.
Want free things without doing much work? Well you're in luck!-- Montgomery Biscuits (@BiscuitBaseball) July 11, 2018
Riverwalk Stadium will be Millennial friendly on Saturday, July 21st with a participation ribbon giveaway just for showing up, napping and selfie stations, along with lots of avocados
: https://t.co/mEfHPEQ6fF pic.twitter.com/jvGKCCenpn
That moved millennials to creating a sellout within minutes, surely.
Oh, not entirely.
Some potential customers replied with an element of gravity. Said Nick Voll:
My favorite part about this is the 'participation ribbon' bit, which you see a lot from old people. You realize it was the older generation -- millennials' parents -- who created those ribbons, right? You're blaming young people for something you invented and handed out.
Others, like Charlotte Clymer, thought it best to respond in kind, but with a little more elegance:
I don't get why everyone is upset. It's clearly a joke. Kinda like if you hosted a night for Boomers that offers the illegal invasion of other countries, rampant financial fraud that leads to a global collapse, and blaming successive generations for your mistakes. See? Funny!
Yes, Clymer does work on Hillary Clinton's communications team. Thank you for asking.
You might conceive, however, that the Biscuits are suitably chastened and bowing their heads in supplication.
You might also conceive that poodles make excellent hairdressers.
The team, on noticing it had -- stunningly -- created a little brouhaha, doubled down on its self-confidence.
Offended? Feel free to fight your battles IRL and visit us at Riverwalk Stadium. Any millennials that actually come by during office hours before next Saturday and submits a valid complaint in person to our "Millennial Night Thinktank" may get a free ticket or two! https://t.co/XUNOz29gkO-- Montgomery Biscuits (@BiscuitBaseball) July 11, 2018
Insults work these days. They can even get you elected. But please, I don't want to make a Limp Bizkit joke here.
I know that the Tin Men thought they were being funny and, um, clever. And goodness, they've already achieved their aims by generating vast tranches of publicity.
Who knows, perhaps they'll even change their name to the Montgomery Avocado Toasts for the night?
But there's a slight irony that's been pointed out by one or two people on Twitter.
For example, Jonah Loeb offered these thoughtful words:
Their players make shit salaries bc they're exempted from collective bargaining. minor league baseball depends entirely on the labor of poorly-compensated young people & now they've decided to insult them for no reason as well.
I want to leave you, though, with a deeply intellectual thought.
The Biscuits' idea isn't original. It was tried by, for one, the Lexington Legends, a Kansas City Royals affiliate.
Goodness me, the idea caused outrage.