Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
He wasn't quite a knight in shining armor.
More of a nice man in a pair of jeans and a simple car, I suspect.
But a certain delivery man for the Jimmy John's sandwich chain has become a little hero over the last couple of days.
The story was told on Twitter by Kayla Speer, from West Burlington, Iowa.
She said she'd been dating a man for three months. He lived three hours away and claimed one night to be studying for his finals.
Speer says she thought she'd make a kind gesture and order him a sandwich while he worked.
The order was placed & my bf had texted me a little bit before letting me know he was going to take a nap. So I sent him a text saying "hey, foods on the way for you. Please leave a tip." I didn't hear back from him for a bit, but I just assumed he was sleeping.-- Kayla (@kayla_speer_) June 28, 2018
Was her boyfriend really asleep, I hear you cry.
Well, Speer says he eventually texted back a "thank you."
Things all took a twisted turn when the Jimmy John's delivery man called Speer.
He asked to confirm that the recipient really was Speer's boyfriend. When she said he was, the delivery man offered some troubling news.
He said he had looked into the boyfriend's house and discovered him at a certain stage of alternative study. Clearly with a woman who wasn't Speer.
The delivery driver continued by saying this..."look, we usually don't do this, but I think you would like to know...when we walked up to the door to your bf's place we were able to see into his apartment and he was in his boxers with a naked women on top of him on the couch-- Kayla (@kayla_speer_) June 28, 2018
Ah, Jimmy John's delivery drivers don't usually peer into people's homes to see what's going on inside?
This might be a relief to some.
Of course, for Speer, this delivery driver did absolutely the right thing.
I do want to thank @jimmyjohns for their incredible service to their customers. Not many would do what that delivery driver did, and I'm very grateful he called me and was honest about the situation. #WWJJD (What Would Jimmy Johns Do?)-- Kayla (@kayla_speer_) June 28, 2018
#WWJJD, indeed? What Wouldn't Jimmy John's Do?
This is, indeed, incredible service.
Although I suspect one or two philosophers -- perhaps the faithless, the untrustworthy and the downright demonic -- might believe the delivery driver should have done his job and not poked his nose into a personal sandwich that might not have been quite what it seemed.
What if Speer and her (now ex-) boyfriend had enjoyed a slightly unconventional, more open sort of relationship?
What if he was an artist who painted naked women and he and his muse were on a break?
What if this was a case of a married couple going through difficulties? Would Jimmy John's be named in the subsequent divorce proceedings?
Would, say, a restaurant tell a regular customer that her boyfriend had dined there with, oh, another woman?
Was it really the place of the delivery man to get involved? Did the recipient deserve at least a touch of privacy?
Is Jimmy John's really the Moral Guardian of the Universe?
(Is that really enough questions?)
It's not as if Jimmy John's hasn't been involved in its own little moral controversies in the past.
In customer service, making assumptions carries with it some risks. You can never be entirely sure who your customer is, how they live and what they value.
Of course, some will suspect this is all an elaborate marketing stunt, concocted to create attention.
Still, for its part Jimmy John's seems to believe the delivery man did the right thing. It's offered to cater Speer's break-up party.
KAYLA!! I'd love to cater your breakup party! Let me know when and where! Please DM me your address and contact info and I'll make it happen! https://t.co/ogfNhqAIRj-- Jimmy John's (@jimmyjohns) June 28, 2018
I wonder if the delivery man will be invited. I wonder what his relationship status might be.