Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
One video can really cause conniptions.
If enough people see it, that is.
Please imagine, then, the quaking at Little Caesars HQ when a video emerged on Twitter that appeared to demonstrate blasphemy being enacted at one of Little Caesars establishments.
Was this some sort of satanic ritual, complete with an altar, robes and very questionable dancing?
It was worse.
As the video drifted from the Little Caesars location to the right, there was a pile of DiGiorno boxes sitting right next to the Little Caesars checkout counter, looking very guilty.
Could it be, indeed, that a famed fresh pizza parlor was serving up the second-class frozen stuff?
this can't be happening right in front of me pic.twitter.com/9R7jwuUbB6-- vin (@vinandwesson) October 6, 2018
This couldn't be happening in front of the whole world, surely.
Once millions had seen the video and swooned, Little Caesars launched an investigation.
Would a mischievous culprit be discovered? Or would it be a white(anchovy)wash?
This was truly a crisis. DiGiorno began to have a good laugh about it Twitter.
Worse was to come.
Chrissy Teigen began mocking Little Caesars on Twitter. The pizza chain now had nowhere to hide. It had nowhere even to scream.
And then, an explanation so absurd that it surely had to be true.
A Little Caesars spokesperson told People magazine that this was all happening in a Kmart.
Oh, let the spokesperson speak for themselves:
On that day, Kmart received a few complaints from customers about having purchased expired DiGiorno pizzas from that location, and because it was so close to closing time, the Kmart manager directed his employee to temporarily store them in a cooler adjacent to the Little Caesars location for disposal in the morning.
In short, then, not a good advertisement for Kmart. And not so great for DiGiorno, either. Frozen pizzas expire? That's very painful news for many students around America.
And as for Little Caesars. Did no one there realize that someone might come along and video this frightful sight?
Being video vigilant is a must these days.