Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

Not all flights go smoothly. 

There are times, indeed, when the cabin crew get on a plane and their eyes glaze over.

One such time arrived Friday morning on a United Airlines flight from Edinburgh, Scotland to Newark, Jerseyland.

It seems there were irregularities with the toilets.

One whirred but didn't flush. Another didn't even bother whirring.

Mechanics were called to rescue the potential calls of nature from difficulty. Despite an hour's work, they failed. 

What to do? 

Well, the captain decided to allow the plane to be boarded and then resort to something that has rarely succeeded in recent times: democracy.

A source on the flight tells me the captain spoke personally to each of the snootier passengers. 

Then he made an announcement to the unwashed masses in Economy Class.

If they were to achieve Brexit that day, the passengers would have to follow certain rules.

When it came to one of the bathrooms, they had to agree to urinate and not defecate. They also had to agree not to toss any paper materials into the toilet.

As for the other imperfectly operating bathroom, they were allowed to perform all necessary bodily functions. With, presumably, all requirements of human tolerance.

The alternative, the captain explained, was Remain. 

Yes, another day in Edinburgh until a plane could be found or this one be fixed.

There were, I'm told, a few tense seconds before the show of hands. 

Just how genteel were these passengers? Would there be lobbying?

Ultimately, the Brexiters had it by a fair majority and the plane took off in its imperfect condition.

How odd, though, that certain passengers would rather spend another day in Scotland, than subject themselves to imperfect lavatorial conditions.

Which, I understand, became worse, as one of the taps in one of the affected toilets began to leak uncontrollably.

I should underline that the captain broke no rules. 

It's heartening, though, that he had sufficient faith in the will of the people to achieve operational success.