Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
When a customer-focused company introduces something new, it's easy not to question whether this something new is really for your benefit.
After all, if the company has always treated you well, there's an inbuilt assumption its new thing is there to treat you even better.
I wonder, though, about Amazon's latest bright idea, one the company positions as helpful to its customers.
If you have an Amazon Prime account -- and, really, who hasn't been talked into that by now? -- you can now designate one day each week as Amazon Day.
No, this isn't the day on which you get down on your knees, sing Amazon Grace to the tune of Amazing Grace and pray that Jeff Bezos opens a new HQ in your neighborhood.
Instead, it's the day you decide you want all your Amazon deliveries to arrive.
Amazon touts the idea's predictability. It promises to combine all your orders into one big arrival.
"When possible," that is.
And the company says you can keep on adding orders throughout the week.
It all sounds so blessedly customer-friendly. Especially, you might think, if you happen to live in an area where porch pirates pounce.
May I, though, ask you a question?
Have you noticed that some of your Amazon Prime orders aren't arriving as soon as they used to?
That's certainly been the case with me. Somehow, deliveries are just a little more ragged, timing-wise.
Moreover, Amazon seems suddenly keen that, instead of its drivers delivering my orders to my door, I might prefer picking them up at an Amazon locker 23.5 miles away.
One is tempted to think, then, that this new Amazon Day scheme might benefit Amazon more than its customers.
The company can spend longer setting up deliveries and have fewer drivers making those deliveries. It can also use less packaging. (Yes, you'll tell me this benefits the whole world, too.)
In essence, then, it's a cost-cutting idea that the company hopes consumers will adore.
It might work, too.
Then again, about those porch pirates. I have a feeling many embrace piracy as a regular thing.
What if they work out exactly which day is your Amazon Day? Won't they then be more enthused to pay you a visit on that day, given that their haul might be all the greater?
Imagine their disappointment if you've ordered nothing from Amazon that week at all.
Personally, I enjoy the surprise of a package arriving at my door on various days.
It's more entertaining than neighbors coming to snoop and/or pester.
And here's a painful thought.
What if you live in an apartment building full of hard-working people, all of whom choose Saturday as their Amazon Day?
Will half of them get an email from Amazon that says: "Oh, come on. Can't you make it some other day?"