Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
We cried uncle some time ago.
Or we just booked JetBlue, Southwest or some other marginally more people-friendly airline.
You see, American Airlines has enthusiastically embraced the position of Airline That Wants To Make Its Planes As Uncomfortable As Possible Until Passengers Can Take No More.
It's ensured less legroom not only for passengers in Economy Class, but also in First Class. It's installed bathrooms barely wider than Economy Class seats.
It seemed, though, that this would happen only on its new Boeing 737 MAX planes. Oh, and on its older Boeing 737-800s.
Recently, though, a new kink emerged, one that will have American's passengers preparing to self-pretzel.
You see, the airline also flies a lot of Airbuses. 219 Airbus A321's, for example.
Some of these fly coast-to-coast.
Surely American wouldn't start shoving more seats into those. Surely.
Oh, silly. Of course it will.
In an employee chat captured by View From The Wing's Gary Leff, American's bosses admitted that early next year, when they start getting new A321neo planes, they'll also start refurbishing the airline's existing A321's.
With exactly the same pain-levels as the 737's.
Yes, dear faithful American Airlines Airbus passenger, prepare for smaller seat pitch, thinner seats, tiny bathrooms and no seatback screens.
These days, American is all about standardizing its fleet.
The caustic might call the standard Universal Discomfort.
For American's executives, however, this represents a new efficiency that will make it easier to, well, make more money.
You, though, are desperately wondering whether there will be any positives out of these more stuffed-up planes.
Well, the overhead bins will be bigger.
Ostensibly, this is to please passengers. Actually, it's at least as much to speed up the boarding process, so that more planes leave on time and the airline can enjoy better punctuality statistics.
The A321 refurbishment is expected to start early next year.
Passengers can, therefore, talk to their pilates instructors in order to create special training programs.
Especially if they regularly fly on the LAX-Hawaii and LAX to places on the East Coast sort of routes.
American's motto remains Going For Great.