Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

Most people claim to be immune to advertising.

Then, victims of startling coincidence, they all seem to buy the same things. 

Still, some ad messages fall to the floor like overly enthusiastic attendees at a rave.

I wonder what will happen, for example, to this work of art from Burger King.

Here we are with a Death Row prisoner. 

He orders his last meal.

Stunningly, given that this is a Burger King ad, his last request for a repast is a Whopper and Fries. 

What do you think happens next?

Does he take so long eating this fine meal he declares his whole life of murderous crime was worth this one final satiation?

Does he, having enjoyed this fine burger, suddenly have the strength to assault all his jailers, escape and then run to a Burger King for another Whopper?

Does he eat the burger and then find himself flame-grilled? 

Oh, please take a look for yourself and we can have a chat on the other side.

There. 

Hullo again.

Did you laugh?

Did it make you want to commit a heinous crime, so that you could be jailed and enjoy one last Whopper meal?

Or perhaps you're reading this in jail and this ad made you believe that the Whopper is so powerful a brand that it could get you out.

This ad is from France, where they abolished the death penalty many years ago.

I can't help, though, find whoppers of symbolism in its depths. 

While Burger King no doubt wants to tell us that its Whoppers are to die for, why do I instead get twisted messages about burgers, death and public policy?

Beware men who order Whoppers. They could be serial killers.

Burgers can be the death of you.

If only Kendall Jenner could have delivered the burger, the criminal would have gone to his execution, feeling that it was a just end to his life.

Could it be that, in these days of constant terrorism, both emotional and physical, I don't find Death Row so very funny? 

And then there's the whole dénouement, as they say in France.

The killer goes free, but he doesn't get his burger.

Does that mean he's going to go straight to a Burger King, hold it up, killing a few people if he has to?

I tend to find such thoughts when I simply don't like an ad.

This is something worth remembering about ads. 

Though vast creative minds can cogitate and debate about an ad's finest nuances, though supreme artists can be employed in their, um, execution, real humans tend to react emotionally.

Sometimes, they just don't like it and there's nothing you can do.

I've heard one or two people say that about Whoppers. 

Published on: Jan 17, 2018
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.