Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
You've probably been bristling for several days now.
Bristling from being dissed. Well, your favorite fast-food joint being dissed, to be precise.
Along came some data from Foursquare that insisted Chick-fil-A was America's favorite fast-food restaurant.
This was state-by-state data and it really did get some people into a state.
After all, it claimed that Raisin Cane's was California's favorite fast-food joint. There are around 10 of them in the whole of California.
I live there and I've never heard of it.
As I explained when I wrote about this data, the methodology was, well, particular.
It looked at "which chains received the most visits on average per location in every state based on the total number of visits to each chain divided by the number of locations in that state."
Which got the data people at Factual extremely warm beneath the collars of their plaid shirts.
Factual claims its aim is to be the "neutral data company."
It wasn't neutral about the Foursquare numbers, however.
In a rippling riposte, it sniffed: "It seems obvious, but the 'most popular' restaurant chain is the one that the most people have visited."
When a nerd tells me something is obvious, my eyes glaze over and my mind drifts to Lisbon, Seville, a functioning JetBlue toilet or other places that I wish I was at that moment.
Still, you can see the Factual point.
And, according to its statement of the obvious, McDonald's is the most popular restaurant in every U.S. state.
There are simply more of them, aren't there?
Factual positively, but neutrally, stomped all over the Foursquare suggestion that Chick-fil-A is the most popular fast-food restaurant in Oregon.
"There are only two Chick-fil-A's in Oregon. By comparison, there are more than 150 McDonald's. From the place counts alone, it's highly unlikely that more people in Oregon go to Chick-fil-A than McDonald's," it huffed.
Factual got far more stimulation when analyzing what each state's second-favorite restaurants were -- after McDonald's, that is.
Chick-fil-A dominated in only the south-eastern corner from Maryland to Alabama, but most definitely excluding Florida, which is very Burger King heavy.
In a strange quirk, Subway is highly esteemed where it's coldest -- in all those Dakotas and Minnesotas.
Utah and Colorado are remarkably prone to eat at Wendy's, as are important states such as Ohio and Pennsylvania.
As for California? No, In-N-Out didn't come second. It was Jack In (and Out) the Box.
Naturally, there may soon be a WWE contest between Factual's CEO and Foursquare's.
I am happy to referee, but will not allow algorithm-mocking, cosplay outfits or one-appmanship.
I will allow them to bring their favorite fast food. Sigh, I bet you they'll both bring In-N-Out.
I wonder if HBO would be willing to do this on pay-per-view.