Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
When a company gets excited, it can be a passionate thing.
Especially when that company is an airline.
But when an airline claims that real people's eyes will bulge, jaws will drop and mouths will water there has to be extreme confidence behind it.
This will be happening next week. At least, according to Delta Air Lines.
I know this because Delta is promising it on its own website.
"Delta people to turn heads in stylish new uniforms on May 29," says the headline.
The airline is so ebulliently confident that it knows the precise words humans will exclaim, the minute they see this new corporate garb: "Wow, they look great! Who is that!?"
It's time, then, to test that confidence.
Delta, you see, has been creating a little reality show as the uniform design process has evolved.
It's taken three years to reach completion, with famous designer Zac Posen being the (trapeze) artist behind the new look and Lands End being the manufacturer.
The core purplish color that will (allegedly) dazzle you is called Passport Plum.
But there's also Groundspeed Graphite and Cruising Cardinal.
Please, I'm not making this up.
Oddly, there's no Flight Delay Fuschia, nor a Turbulent Turquoise. I feel someone high up must have vetoed Overbooking Orange.
Then again, the video Delta has made to launch its new fashion statement is a touch strained.
Yes, real people -- actually, really not very good actors -- are literally stopping what they're doing the minute they see a newly-dressed Delta employee.
Even children, well-known for distinguishing the uniforms of all the airlines by the minutest details, are apparently stricken with fascination the minute they espy a little Passport Plum.
Why, even employees of other airlines apparently perform a double-take of envy.
This leads, on almost everyone's part, to an instinctive urge to pull out their phone and take a picture.
Are you ready? Here goes.
Did you keep turning your head?
Which way? Toward or away?
I tease, of course.
What the airline's reality show proves is that employees were very much involved in the creation of these garments.
This is extremely important after the debacle of American Airlines' new uniforms, to which many employees seemed to be allergic.
I confess, too, that the plummy color does offer a tiny respite from the constant blues that have invaded airline hues.
But will people really turn their heads?
I fancy the reality may be more that, in crowded airports, a few people might notice the new colors and go straight back to the Netflix show on their iPads, as their flight is unfortunately delayed by two hours due to operational reasons.
Still, these new designs are surely an improvement and these are rare and precious when it comes to airlines.
And what if Kim Kardashian suddenly declares that Passport Plum is the color you just have to be seen in?