Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Let's start with a disclosure. I like a glass of wine.
Please, therefore, forgive any bias as I outline this new piece of research that might make one or two people, well, reach for a glass of wine.
I'll start with the academic language, as uttered by Linda McEvoy, an associate professor at UC San Diego School of Medicine.
"This study is unique because we considered men and women's cognitive health at late age and found that alcohol consumption is not only associated with reduced mortality, but with greater chances of remaining cognitively healthy into older age," she said.
A tempting translation might be: "You know, if you drink up to three glasses of wine a day you might just live longer and not develop dementia."
I have more evidence for this. The researchers involved in this 29-year study say that "among men and women 85 and older, individuals who consumed moderate to heavy amounts of alcohol five to seven days a week were twice as likely to be cognitively healthy than non-drinkers."
Let me define a heavy drinker for you, academically speaking.
If you drink up to three alcoholic beverages per day and you're an adult woman or a man over 65, you're a heavy drinker.
If you're just a man under 65, you need to drink four units a day to achieve the classification.
Please, I'm not advocating that you should do this. I'm merely noting the definitions.
I'd also like to note that this study isn't suggesting that drinking alcohol makes you healthier.
It's the wealthier who drink more of it. Indeed, the OECD says that the more successful you are, the more you drink.
The wealthier tend to smoke less and have far better healthcare, especially if they're in Congress.
Moreover, this research was almost exclusively confined to the white, well-educated population.
If you're African-American or Latino, you're likely to drink far less than white people, but have far more alcohol-related health and social problems.
Of course, human bodies are almost as strange as human minds.
What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another.
The choice is ultimately yours. I'd like a glass of Paul Mathew Valdiguié, please.