Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
A new day has dawned.
You may read books on marketing, advertising and PR-ing your way to success.
You still can't quite decide on the right message.
Then along comes Burger King to show you how easy it truly is.
As I write, it appears that Burger King's Twitter account has been taken over by a drunken pooch.
Penny the Pekinese is tweeting gibberish, nonsense, balderdash. And, for all I know, bladderdash.
Yes, this character-driven incontinence has been decorating Burger King's Twitter feed for hours.
Just look at it.
gb;sughalugpaewyhg;irhdl!hflg..gss..hhrtdtudjytjghc>-8tfls<9jdgblsvakyefe124352.b?jifdg;sualbnjg;ihs=0u65484hliugresHFUGILBSPJGMnfsig0947ws-- Burger King (@BurgerKing) November 28, 2018
And soon, because this is the way of Twitter and our world, people stared at this nonsense and wanted to know what was happening.
To which Burger King replied with more gobbledygook.
HAHAgbs,eajb.yvbs-- Burger King (@BurgerKing) November 28, 2018
Soon, this all had taken on a life of its own.
Soon, because they're dupes like so many humans, other brands wanted to play.
Or to (attempt to) show how clever they are.
01001000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00101110-- Hooters (@Hooters) November 28, 2018
Et tu, Hooters.
I'm sure that, by the time you read this, it will have been revealed to be a startling promotion for some astonishing delicacy courtesy of Whopper Central.
It could even be something to do with its new supposed delicacy for dogs, called a Dogper.
I did ask Burger King, naturally. Sadly, I didn't even get a load of old nonsense in reply.
The lesson here, though, is both hearty and painful.
It's one that's been beautifully executed by everyone from Kanye West to Elon Musk.
Tweet away a load of old bilge and you just might get a lot of attention.
I can just see the Burger King marketing people sitting there, staring at the numbers:
Look! 26,000 Likes and 11,000 Retweets! Aren't we clever?!
And somewhere Penny the Pekinese just wants her dinner.
They told her she'd get a special treat if she just kept wiping her paws on a keyboard.