Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
When people are raging online, there's a certain attraction for a bystander.
The passion, the venom, the sheer uncontrolled loathing can make one feel as if the world is truly without hope. Which is, in its way, quite fascinating.
Especially when the object of rage is an apple pie.
The offending pie in question is McDonald's new improved Baked Apple Pie.
The McDonald's Apple Pie is a delicacy that I'd somehow failed previously to taste.
Suddenly, though, the burger chain decided to make it a little healthier, because people are becoming a little fonder of living longer in our storm-tossed world.
"Our new apple pie is made with fewer ingredients such as sugar, sliced 100-percent American grown apples and a bit of cinnamon to the filling for flavor to give each one that homemade taste our customers love," the burger chain explained.
This didn't go down well with its aficionados.
not even the apple pies taste the same anymore at McDonald's. my cravings were disrespected today-- Alexandria (@alexandria_3100) September 16, 2018
There is nothing worse these days than disrespect. Nothing.
@McDonalds I didn't think you could really ruin an apple pie... but you managed to do just that. They are horrible now.-- Justin White (@jmwhite777) September 18, 2018
You see what I mean by passion and venom?
There was only one thing for it. I went to McDonald's to sample this object of abject rage.
You can't eat apple pie on its own, though, can you? So I accompanied it with a soft-serve cone and invited my wife as a second taster, just in case my palate might be suffering bias.
The new Baked Apple Pie comes in a neat little box, like the candy you buy in the movie theater.
I feared it would be a massive slice. Instead, it was almost dainty, not unlike a sizable sausage roll at a cocktail party.
At the first mouthful, I braced myself. This was McDonald's, after all. I've had a few mundane experiences there over the years.
This apple pie, however, entered my mouth with a certain politeness and managed not to offer even a hint of unpleasantness. Or sugariness, for that matter.
It was warm -- not hot, as the box has warned. The crust was pleasantly crumbly. The filling didn't ooze with gooeyness, which, again, I found astoundingly pleasant.
It actually tasted of, well, apple pie. My wife was even more astounded than I was.
And when you put it together with the soft-serve cone, it was a perfectly good dessert, one that I wouldn't have turned away at many a decent restaurant.
I can see Grant Achatz at Chicago's blissful Alinea restaurant making his outré version of this thing within weeks. (I have a strong imagination.)
Yes, McDonald's new Baked Apple Pie has 250 calories, 16 grams of sugar and 11 grams of fat.
But at least it isn't remotely awful. In fact, I'd happily eat it again.
If I was really hungry, that is.