Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
At my local In-N-Out, one of the most striking features is the perpetually long lines.
Customers are patient. They're also a touch cultish about the burger chain's charms.
How patient, though, should the average person be about getting an In-N-Out burger?
In 2011, Denver City Council president Albus Brooks began emailing the chain, begging it to extend its allure to Colorado.
It took six years for In-N-Out to (begin to) agree.
In 2017, the chain admitted that it was in the early stages of building "a patty production facility and distribution center in Colorado Springs to support future restaurants in Colorado."
Naturally, this made the people of Colorado deeply excited.
After all, only California, Oregon, Texas, Utah, Nevada and Arizona have ever been blessed with an In-N-Out chapel.
This, as my colleague Bill Murphy Jr. reported, despite mischievous sorts planting signs in various states announcing the chain's arrival.
As far as Coloradans were concerned, however, the prospect was real.
Now, however, they've been forced to realize how much longer they must stand in line.
The Denver Post reports that In-N-Out's vice president of real estate and development Carl Arena says it'll be the summer of 2020 before a restaurant is opened in the state.
Construction on the patty production facility and distribution center hasn't even started yet.
And Arena cautioned that even when the first Colorado In-N-Out opens, it doesn't mean there'll be hundreds more:
We do know that growth will be deliberate and controlled. That has always been part of our strategy here at In-N-Out Burger.
It's a very wise strategy.
The chain always keeps tight control of quality. For example, earlier this year it closed 37 restaurants in Texas just because it wasn't happy with the quality of its buns.
The Colorado 2020 news led some of the Post's readers to express severe levels of despair.
Lewis Schiller, for example, offered:
I just hope I live long enough..
Not everyone, though, is a convert to the cult. Chuck Blinn muttered:
2 inches in diameter and a quarter inch thick. How did it became a cult favorite? Where's the beef? Go try a large Smashburger.....and don't look back.
Oh, Chuck. Size doesn't matter, quality does.
At least that's what In-N-Out wants you to believe.