Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
When the news first came out, there was giddiness in the land.
McDonald's had finally caught up with what people actually wanted and was going to do something about it.
Yes, it was going to make its Quarter Pounders with fresh beef.
Fresh, I ask you. What a concept. What a revolution. McDonald's would never be the same again.
And then the burgermeisters started to put it into practice.
Were there ululations in the streets and at drive-thrus? Was there genuflection in all the restaurants?
It seems that at least some customers don't like the fresh thing after all.
How could they not?
Well, would you believe they're complaining that cooking fresh meat takes a little longer?
As Reuters reports, some Texas customers are finding their patience being tried as they wait for their freshly-made Quarter Pounders.
They're huffing that if it's going to take this long, they'll take their business elsewhere.
You'll be wondering how much longer it's taking McDonald's to make these new fresh burgers. You'll be thinking that it must be an eternity.
It's one minute.
One measly minute. 60 seconds more to enjoy fresh beef as opposed to the frozen variety -- which were often cooked long before the person ordered it.
Is fast food really more about the fast than the food? Or might this be a regional or even generational divide? (The fresh burgers are being tested in Oklahoma and Texas.)
After all, America seems to be divided along every line possible, so why not Speed vs. Food That Actually Tastes Like Food?
I contacted McDonald's to ask whether this apparent whining is being caused by teething troubles, or whether customers should adjust their expectations.
A company spokeswoman told me: "Our fresh beef burgers are designed to be delivered at the speed of McDonald's." She added that the company had seen a more than 90 percent customer satisfaction score for the new burgers and that brand quality scores had risen.
One is tempted to wonder, though, about the mentality of those customers who simply aren't prepared to wait for something that might be a little better.
Worse, apparently some customers are ordering their burgers well-done. And that takes even longer.
I pause for your 60-second intake of breath.
The fresh Quarter Pounders will be rolled out nationwide over the next year. I can imagine there will be glee in some quarters and consternation in others.
Soon, CNN's political analysts will create charts that show Fresh Quarter Pounder Lovers polling against Quarter Pounder Impatients.
And then we will all have to choose sides.
Mine, naturally, will still be french fries.