Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Fast-food marketing has generally been garlanded with clever moves and deep incursions into the human psyche.
You want it quick, you want it hot and you want it to taste of fine, filling fat.
Recently, though, the chains haven't made themselves universally popular.
Yet they've always had steadfast customers.
Many of those customers might be called children.
Suddenly, though, even kids are annoyed at some of the fast-food chains' excesses.
Why, 9-year-old Ella Wood and her 7-year-old sister Caitlin have been so exasperated that they've created a Change.org petition to embarrass the big fast-feeders.
What annoys these two intrepid British girls is that the burger chains keep trying to entice kids with little plastic toys in those meals that are supposed to make kids happy. (Or at least quiet.)
Is this an insult to child intelligence?, I hear you cry.
No, it's worse than that. It's a threat to their existence.
You see, Ella and Caitlin want McDonald's and Burger King to stop giving away those toys because, like plastic straws, they're a threat to the environment.
We like to go to eat at Burger King and McDonald's, but children only play with the plastic toys they give us for a few minutes before they get thrown away and harm animals and pollute the sea.
And if the sea gets polluted, so does humanity.
Now you might think this is a couple of kids who are being encouraged by do-gooder parents.
Yet they've managed to secure more than 400,000 signatures, as well as a reaction from the burger people.
Burger King told CNBC it was considering "alternative toy solutions."
Ah, haven't your kids always wanted alternative toys?
McDonald's U.K. confessed it would reduce the number of hard plastic toys being given away.
There was, however, a however:
However, this is not indicative of a new commitment to reduce plastics in Happy Meal toys. This six-month promotional period in the U.K. will provide different options to customers including a mixture of board games, books and soft toys.
The kids are really quite mad at McDonald's. They explain:
It's not enough to make recyclable plastic toys - big, rich companies shouldn't be making toys out of plastic at all.
Yes, the bold type was theirs.
Oh, kids, don't imagine the world is going to change so quickly.
Why, it's taken McDonald's seemingly hundreds of years to put fresh beef in their Quarter Pounders.
Still, maybe kids should just start rebelling against the whole fast-food-makes-kids-happy thing.
That would give their parents a problem.
It would give Burger King and McDonald's a problem, too.