Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
I have always thought that the Big Mac is, well, quite big.
But this is America, where nothing can ever be too big, nor, indeed, big enough.
So McDonald's announced last year that it was going to release the Big Daddy of Big Macs.
I wondered whether this might look like a towering monstrosity of food. Yet when I went to McDonald's website, there was no picture.
Is this supposed to be some sort of secret? Was McDonald's waiting for Donald Trump to be elected before it revealed how it's making the Big Mac Great(er) Again?
Thankfully, those who have been eating this tower of power in Ohio and Texas -- where they were originally tested -- and beyond have been posting images into the wild. And, thankfully, videos.
Perusing one of these videos, I hear the product tester utter these immortal words: "Man, look at the size of this thing."
Let's talk about that size. Your Big Mac has two 1.6-ounce patties of pure formerly frozen beef.
Your Grand Mac's two patties weigh in at a colossal one-third of a pound.
Doing math as swiftly as I can, this thing involves two-thirds of a pound of patty. Is this really necessary? For some people, it clearly is.
You'll imagine that the bun must be quite big to accommodate all this. Ian K, the reviewer in this fine video, says it barely covers his palm.
He tries to lift it up with one hand. He cannot. This Grand Mac needs two hands and a whole lot of courage. Written on the box, indeed, are the words: "You're gonna need two hands."
McDonald's site tells me that all your other favorite Big Mac ingredients are still there. Which means that this includes the Big Mac sauce, one that has some critics wondering about the sanity of it.
This sauce has 32 ingredients, including high-fructose corn syrup -- which isn't universally admired.
But the biggest, if not grandest, question about this Grand Mac is whether anyone truly needs to eat this much food in one sitting.
So I leave you with the words of McDonald's chef Mike Haracz, uttered at the time the national rollout was announced: "We listened to our customers who told us they wanted different ways to enjoy the one-of-a-kind Big Mac taste."
This is what America wanted, America.
So when you order a Grand Mac, is a grand order of fries de rigueur?